Monday, December 30, 2013

it's a wonderful world

we don't have to go far for a work out

While Don does the digging, I snowshoed up our little hill, maybe a 15 min walk normally, i think i was gone for an hour.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

ducks in the winter

  Goodmorning to all,
Tons of snow here, i wonder if it is a record,
maybe i post some pictures later.

First i wanted to post the ducks i saw last week at the Yukon river while walking the millennium trail.This was Dec 23, 2013.  I did read that  Common Mergansers and Common Goldeneyes do overwinter on occasion, less so the Barrow's Goldeneye.
Barrow's Goldeneye

both Goldeneyes

Common Goldeneye

Common Mergnaser

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Part 2, form the book of different realities

You know why, this is part two? because i don't know how to work computers. When i paste and copy something, my typing fond stays in that fond of what i copied.

Now there i something, so after switching realities, it is very hard to go back...

This morning after i had gotten up i saw these realities encased in thick, slimy, grey, though skin. Maybe like the stomach of a Bison,  washed clean of the blood.

Reading the book it occurred again to me, that the Germans in World War II , suffered maybe most. Well i can't say most, as i think suffering is suffering. (the apple/orange thing)
When i grew up , there was never a hatred for the Germans, the image was more, of young boys fighting in Holland torn away from their families in Germany. My husband i ask him,  ( born in '47) grew up in a Military  community in Northern England. He said there was nothing, no awareness that way, they told us nothing, we learned nothing.

Did he and i came together, because in England after school he was an apprentice to lay ..marble?.. floors in hospitals?

See i am getting totally lost, here. I am taking a break from writing. Maybe i will  talk to my husband for a bit. Maybe i go back to 1977,giggles, brommers and kisses. Or to the future.....where i still will be me, but in a total different reality.

a different kind of reality (part 1)

 ahhhh i woke up with a whole book in my head this morning, and already now it slipped away. Maybe as with a dream that sits on the periphery of our memory, just on the other side, inaccessible. I will lay down in the same position and let my thoughts drift elsewhere. And yes this morning the dream came back.  I was flying , but not lucid, i flew low across a big river, coming to the other side there was no dry place to land, all swamp.
But that was not what i was going to write about, i am just easing my mind back into it.
Like how sometimes a poem comes to me when i am out, and i will ask my angel, i call Benjamin to recollect it for me when i get home. He often does. I forgot to ask him this morning, mind you it wasn't a poem, it was a whole book.
It was how we appear to live in one reality. You know, planet Earth, the solstice today, blood, breathe (now tell me again when do we add an e?)
But do we ? live in one reality.
I have two people who are very close to me, their factual stories often trespass in the realm of fantasy.
In my last story here on keepers, the fictional one, is so much very real. it really happened, big parts of it

See this morning upon waking up, this story, all tied together quite obviously, now it is already raveling (raffelen) (fraying i suppose) apart.

How a few weeks ago , i was part of world, people dying. Now they died, now i miss the feeling of cold vinyl against my cheek, on the Hospital floor. That was all easy. Now i find my self in a world of sick people.
It is easy when they totally accept,  not so easy when they want to be healthy, get better. I hope you don't feel offended by my slightly..macabre..thought pattern.

And then there is the 'book thief" i will copy a passage.
The Promise-keeper’s Wife
The Basement, Nine AM
Six hours till goodbye: ‘I played an accordion, Liesel. Someone else’s.’ He closes his eyes: ‘It brought the house down.

 (later; i might have figured out, how to copy and paste and not have to continue in the pasted format)   i first wrote this sentence; "(later;.....) and then copied this piece:
The Promise-keeper’s Wife
The Basement, Nine AM
Six hours till goodbye: ‘I played an accordion, Liesel. Someone else’s.’ He closes his eyes: ‘It brought the house down.

and inserted it, in between, not at the end.

Monday, December 9, 2013


Today i went on my first ski for the season. We skied on the river, 2 hours in and two hours out, on the way we saw caribou and sheep tracks, or were the bison's and deer's, the dog found a dead squirrel.
All was quite wonderful, and after i felt very stiff and had two blisters, i never have blisters.
more later something  i think exciting...

Saturday, December 7, 2013


there is a lonely moon tonight i walk out into the darkness she lays on her back in a hazy halo often i have nothing to do what did you say today i am not one that says i am going to do this or that i guess that could be true i do not take risk like that saying that would mean i really should write some productive story or work on my paintings or clean clean anything imagine if i would say those things i am going to write a story imagine the failure when i wouldn't it is not that i couldn't but really there is something off with my willpower i make a good one for alanon will power is something you leave up to god in that room i did stop smoking remember i smoked for a year or two i stopped with a book by a man named allen he said i don't need willpower so i guess that is why it worked for me i still love the idea of smoking when i see a cigarette i think oh how lovely would that be see my lack is saving me again there is a lonely moon tonight i love the moon most when it is the tiniest sliver we are already past that but it is still nice it is nice outside not too cold here in the north if i went out and there was no sound i waited for a long time for a sound i am in a state of waiting people online sometimes post photos that you can just tell they are from the seventies they are in a state of waiting longer then i am some women do not tell their age for years but i have noticed here online men tend to give themselves 10 years younger 10 years of waiting can you imagine my feet would grow roots no matter how often i curl my toes and paint my nails bright red the lonely moon is threatening to sink into the horizon that lonely moon i was always the same naked woman in the snow but you i remember you from the seventies when you wait that long a conversation can be real animating totally new shall i wait till the next new moon when it's first sliver appears no more moon times what to do now?

Monday, December 2, 2013

a wolf

the world of white is cold , ancient coldness, nothing happening.
( when we spotted the wolf, she stood motionless for a long time)
for an instant i could feel again. i got a glimpse of inspiration, not long enough to know what.
(after what seemed a long time, turning his head to look at us)
when someone would listen , what would i say?
i would say, the temperature is dropping.
my body seems to float, but it is not, it is falling.
it is because the space i am in is so immense.
-the kill streak ratio-
where did the connection go? what was it that held it together?
(looking ahead again, looking at us again)
it is because everyone is lying. someone felt sick, i could see it, but she couldn't say it and left.
maybe i made her feel sick, because i said, life is so difficult.
someone said she felt good, but it was just because she wasn't really listening.
nothing is fixed, when you get killed, up you go again, no time to breath
you might want to know that i listen to 'call of duty' in the background.
(eventually she suddenly ran))
i am starting to have an adverse reaction to all the shooting.
when i see or feel violence i cringe. the problem is the violence is in me, little bits.
(before she disappeared, she looked back at us one more time, )
little bits in an immense space of white love, i am so glad you do listen to me.

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

a white lace day

It all looked so exquisite
looking from the inside out
the raven saw it too
on that day of white lace
when the sky was blue
so he went in
swooping down lower
and i came out
looking up for what was left
we were both too late
my bridal gown was ripped
the gray jays had pecked at it
it's a paper wasp's nest
only made to last so long

(you can see the nest in the left high tree on the top)

Sunday, November 24, 2013

You did hold me

you did hold me
when i showed you part of me
my hands turning into wings
a teardrop split in two
letting you

the real me so much more macabre
if you only knew
the full truth;
bodies severed in two
heads crushed
blood everywhere

still you held me
still if that was only it

what if you ever hold me
who would i be?
or still me?


What kind of word is that anyway?
Is it because i am pulled out of the clay?
Yes i know, there is iron in my bones.
accelerado, run faster!
a 'revelation terrible'
macabre, macabre!
so very sad
apparently it is just a dance
or a man
just a man, like all the others

Saturday, November 23, 2013


 Did i just see ISON
chunks of lit up ice from comet Ison? November 23,2013 9.30 am yukon time

Saline incrustations

between Takhini and Canyon
ice on the 911-pond

this pond is slightly salty.

what causes the colors?

As i was reading a geological survey book of 1957, because i am trying to research geological activity in the Sifton Range in them  early days. I did come upon something else i once researched without any luck.
As with the Sifton Range, not everything is on google in this day and age, and not everything is known by geologists alive today.... doh.

I am just going to copy here what i found, because when i need this information and will want to do something with it, ( mainly i want to know if the salt is fit for human consumption),
I just have to google it!

"It proved on examination to be composed for the most part of a mixture of hydrated sulphates of sodium and calcium, and a small quantity of magnesium sulphate, with some insoluble argillaceous and organic matters. It is slightly ferruginous, and contains also a very small quantity of Phosphates and chlorides."
and the article goes on, it was tested for potash, but only had slight amounts of it, 0.2 or 0.3 percent K2O

Friday, November 22, 2013


This  photo taken a few weeks ago.
 I read that calfs might nurse up to 9 months.

I do not want to get into the fact that it did disturb me. It seems corny to even state why it would disturb me.

Look at the female's face, click on the image and zoom it in. Totally beautiful and looking at us.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

a little bird came to me

you're a regular wreck with a crick in your neck
and no wonder you snore for your head's on the floor
and you've needles and pins from your sole to your shins
and your flesh is a-creep for your left leg's asleep
and you've cramp in your toes and a fly on your nose
you've got fluff in your lung and a feverish tongue
and a thirst that's intense and a general sense that you haven't been
sleeping in clover....

I did overcome again, i still do feel like a wreck, but reading this song this morning totally lifted my spirits again.
I read it in a book; 'the ocean at the end of the lane' by Neil Gaiman.
I have the great fortune of having an employer who buys books every week, and! she lets me read them. They are all very new books, like written in  2012 and she and i seem to have very similar taste. Angela ( a friend here) also send me an amazing book in the same line of what i like: 'Wild' by Cheryl Strayed. I will probably let my employer read it, to give her back something for her wonderful generosity.
Life is good ;)

Saturday, November 16, 2013

boulders on the beach

have we all felt at certain times:
no matter how hard i try
i am not getting anywhere

well this is certain times
and writing always helps me

winter did arrive here, those black boulders are covered in snow
the white feather too
how can something that looked so beautiful when i found it
now suddenly seem full of teardrops and it is making me cry

don't let me worry you, underneath all that snow, the grass is still golden, the rosehips red.
 when i stepped out on the porch tonight in the dark i spooked a deer
and all is quite well
how can a few light words being whispered, rattle me that deep
am i that fragile?
 where is the strong woman that is me?

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

There is an old house on the hill

The following story is written by a friend of mine, Bluelight.
 I wanted to post this story here because i felt it fits well with the castle spirit in some of my recent writing.
Hope you like it.

There is an old house on the hill. No one lives in it. It has many secrets to it. 
& you will find them all out in this story.

As you walk up to it you see bars on all the doors & windows. You make your way to the front door, put the key in & turn it to open the door. The next door you come to is not locked so you just push it open. You see no carpet on the floor, just bare boards. You walk across the floor & the boards creak. This room you are in now is big, very big. You get to another door & you open it & you look inside. There is a giant kitchen. In the kitchen there is everything one could ever want & there is lots of room too. So you walk trough the kitchen & through an open doorway to another large room then through another door until you come to the back door. It is locked & there is no key.As you turn around to go looking around, you see a trapdoor. What's in there? You grab the big old ring & and pull it up. It's heavy, but you get it up & look inside. & the a light just comes on. So you walk down the old wooden stairs all the way to the bottom. It is cold. As you walk in more lights come on. You see what looks like wine racks. You walk over to it & another light comes on. Yes wine, old dusty dirty bottles. You pick one up & wipe the dust off. It's year 1735. Old bottle. You put it back on the shelf & walk out. & keep walking down a hall way. The hallway seems to go on for miles. after about 20 minutes of walking you get to the end. There's a big steel door. You pull the door open, it's heavy. You look inside and now you see bdsm equipment. It is very old, maybe as old as the bottle of wine. There is no padding on anything, just wood & steel. & lots of old shackles & things. Really old whips, leather ones & everything is dirty and dusty. You leave, close the door & make your way back down the hallway & and up the stairs, close the trap door & walk to the front door, close it behind you and lock it. Hop back in your car & drive off.....
  -to be continued-

Friday, November 8, 2013

the elusive horse

Hiata, Oct 2013

did you come on this walk with me?
in the moist fall air
the field bathing in sunlight.
before; our heads bend over the map
our fingers pointing.
after; there! there he is 
the horse
on the north side of the far field.

did you come on this walk with me?
 across the far field 
futile searching for a lost horse 
in a maze of poplars.
now; we might as well go to the river
 clay cliffs should lead us there
the earlier banks of the river
 they follow a path 
which the river took
in the past

did you come on this walk with me?
the map showed this path 
going north south.
the reality; a path that goes east west.
 did the earth shift?
are we lost?

we get wet from melted drops 
that cling to spruce branches
deeper into the forest, descending.
 we are going down.
down is good, right?
rivers find the lowest spot in the land,
till they reach the sea, right?
narrow animal trails through thick willows

there! there is the river
blue clear mirror like water
a river so wide it is barely flowing

look! two swans look at us
they too spotted us late.
 seemingly hesitant now leaving 
together going south
as one 
our wings flapping on the water
incredibly loud
the noise
scattering the perfect stillness

i am so happy we see the black horse galloping again

Monday, November 4, 2013


The skating season on natural ice has started.
I do think it is 3 weeks late,
better late then never
which does happen some winters ( in my case)

Saturday, October 19, 2013

life in the castle

the new queen:
what are these crazy waves?
the wind howling wildly
circling the tower
lifting up dead leaves from far away forests
slapping them against my window
i want you now
my body can not wait
i scream at reasonable people
i know the wind has never roared a word like that

and that morning:
running up and down spiral staicases
not quite knowing which tower you will be in
i look for animals too
the wild ones, that move through here

the old king:
castle spirit
wild animals up and down staircases
sorely impatient; not reasonable....
I see you in my lap.....and we are entwined
the wind is howling
but we are louder

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

the world underneath

my face on the cold linoleum
a white rabbit hops around me
cheerfully, more coming in
through the crack of the door
from the light into the dim lit room
dark blotches on the white
like blood splatters
that was before you ran cold water over my wrists
even before raindrops came out of your mouth
like words of poetry

Monday, October 7, 2013

witch of the woods

now you see her
now you don't
but know 
she's always 
up to no good

Saturday, September 14, 2013

shorebirds / co-existence

keeping of wild places

where do our street people go?
when we fix up the clay cliffs
and the riverside

those people are my kin
they are my wild places too
living along a river

and not!
those peel river stickers
oil on oil on oil
stickers on cars that are driving


Monday, September 9, 2013

my garden

i work hard in the garden, just so you see, straightening out my life, is to be at peace possible?
fireweed shows all colors imaginable, stalks flying, branches scattered, blown down by the wind,
orange billowing around me, stars stinging my eyes.
writing is a curse, do describe a single moment spend with you would take a lifetime.
when i work hard maybe you see, i need to clean this up so you see who is inside of the me you see.
dandelions will never be eradicated from my path, lamb's quarters, poplars, squirrel grass, 
poisonous locoweed is toughest.
there is no place like my own garden, we listen to the aspen leaves, my aspen taller and stronger then all the rest,  like you. nothing trembling  about it, 
more like your thundering of the waves on the rocks. 
it's not the sex, it's the moments in between
and this is not my garden, it's a piece of perfect wilderness

Saturday, September 7, 2013

a beautiful hot day

 a few weeks already we have seen the odd crocus blooming
next came the roses 
and now also there are lupines blooming, 

pink among dark purple of the fall fireweed 
blue in the midst of red and yellow

and that with brilliant starry skies at night
 i haven't seen the moon yet

Monday, August 26, 2013


what a strange creature, it looked like a limping dog
for a while a few years back, the wolverine was my power animal.
i had  never seen a wolverine , but Don said i did

in Vancouver last weekend i saw a wild looking kind of dog. was it a coyote? do big grey coyotes live in urban Vancouver?

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

mnt. Logan

here there

peak to peak gondola

if one moment i can find myself here and the other moment there, that is probably why your fire burned me so suddenly.
people people everywhere, while i look for pink panties. in the stores aimed for obviously bigger women, size small is way too big for me, getting closer to down town, the small sized panties are for little girls. I noticed that first in a down town store here, the female clerk appalled by a sex related question, yet she was selling red crotch less panties too small for me. you didn't even care about my panties, you did not care about me, yet you fucked me beautifully against that tree, on the blanket in the bushes, in the car, kind of wherever we were that long as there were no people around. you were afraid of people. not quite shimmering in the far distant i see a mountain top, it took me hours of lonely rock to get there,.rock and ice. one tiny purple flower blooming in that big world. If i had to look at all the flowers that i saw in vancouver, so closely, i would be there for a life time, and then all the faces. of all the people. in vancouver people look at eachother, do whitehorse people know that? in whitehorse people do not look at eachother on the street. and i here, all day long, my gardening consist of keeping the wilderness at bay, where i know that many yukoners actually  do get around growing things. did i write how you made love to me? how i loved it and then i thought, being fooled by society, that we actually had to be friends, that we could hold hands. I felt it the first time we held hands, you pulled away gently, subtle. I should have realized there and then that i was quite happy, the wild woods on fire. why did i want a garden that actually grows roses. when i knew you were lily , the tiniest lily, a tofildia. winter on it's way i know that the first green i will see after winter is the green blades of that lily. hesitating were to post this, can i talk about your cock, no better not. I know that i do have one friend with whom i can discuss penisses, a female friend at that. i  was very old before i discovered these treasures. we knew that  the scramble up the scree would take two hours, and with that in mind, one step at the time, slowly, deliberately, for me it is still my lungs that keep me in check , or my heart?  which is it breathing or beating? 2 hours later, i can pull my self up on big boulders, and there she is, vaguely but distinctively. what is the difference by being carried to the top in the gondola, or not. a garden and a wilderness, girls becoming women, women being little girls. you and me, there or here, your place or mine? there is no question. you are gone, so suddenly, half a world away. 

Monday, July 29, 2013

it's water under the bridge

obviously not, because even in this heavy rain yesterday, there was no water under the bridge
the creek had redirected it self and taken a path over the road
and the next picture was the day before
 enhanced saturday
subdued sunday
yesterday running naked through the rain and today  i lay sweltering in the hot sun sweat dripping on the book i am reading.
still summer

Sunday, July 21, 2013


I walked over to the neighbor this morning, a geologist, Don Francis, and he was quite happy to answer my questions.

ahhhh what did i learn? darker rock is heavier, basalt for example and found lower because of gravity
and light rock like granite is lighter, hence higher.

What else?
that little spot of LTrgS has gabbro in it.
That spot is not necessarily related to the one at Bennett Lake
It is more the way it is formed, Don said ( i think) it could even be the mother rock of  our batholith here
Which is the Annie Ned one. (not the Ruby Range one)

 Because when basalt is remelted again it forms granite. Yes?

And our Coast Plutonic Complex... is just a belt. i do start to understand it, but can't explain it. Island or not it was formed underneath the Earth, but here now it is exposed, where we see the rocks, the batholith.
and where i live on, on the clay,  that is what is called unconsolidated sediments.
I think brought here by the glaciers covering up the batholith.

This whole post is more a question then solid facts. really they are unconsolidated sediments.

oh and one thing Don said, now after having come together the different belts are starting to move....ehhh linear? like they came together but nowhere to go anymore they start sliding along eachother. Don said at Ross river, they actually have slid over 400km.

I will try to find a photo again which shows some of what i am trying to understand

Saturday, July 20, 2013


something Late Triassic in the Stikine suite, made up of gabbro, quartz diorite, diorite and granodiorite.
 Whatever that all means, but do you remeber wanting to study the plantlife on Stony Creek mountain, because  a phlox grows there, and that phlox grows nowhere near here for 1000 km. ( a rough estimate )

Now studying this geological map, i do see that  that Stony Creek Mountain is a peculiar spot on the map.
It has a big fault line ( picture one) and north of it a magenta dot, which might be that color for these letters LTrgS where all the rest is what i spoke of in my previous post, intermittent by unconsolidated sediments.

The gravel pit on the bottom of the mountain also has an odd spot btw  PzS, ask me if you do want to know, what it stands for.
Anyway PzS is part of a bigger slice which runs along Aishihik Lake
 But i can only find  another spot of LTrgS at the South western tip of BennetLake.

Now i do wonder if that Phlox grows there? is there anybody that knows?

the fault

a photo of the phlox is on my wildflower blog

why i call myself batholith

I love you being a geologist, you studying the separation of land, i living on a compressed 'island' i do not know geology, it highly confuses me. And on many occasions i have tried to figure out where i live, i know behind the house there is exposed batholith.
I would love to know more, and as my field is botany ( only through interest, i am not an academic) what does it mean me living on the Coast Plutonic Complex, i am copying these words from a study being done. And is my place really on an island or is it batholith pushed up from underneath while the world was being compressed here. And does it have an effect on the botany, which is basically undisturbed here, hmmm this summer i still have to hike up to the closest by 20 miles nunatuk, which should have ancient plant life, older then what is scraped of by the glacier not so long ago, bla bla, I hope you know a little of my neck of the woods and understand what i mean.

I live  in the Coast Plutanic Complex (paleaocen eocene) on the Ruby Range Batholith,  our property is slipped in with clay from an not so ancient glacial lake, we have a beachline, and above there is the bathlith:) so why do i call myself that because i love to lay on those rocks i will send you a photo, they are the Nisling Range Suite, granite, granodiorite and diorite

and i will post this on my blog, because i always meant to write it.

And i call my self Batholith, because.... it feels true,  i am all, i am 24/7,  i am strong. i am ancient and yet none of these things, being one grain of granite deteriorated. 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013


I remember as a kid, how summer lasted forever,
it's like that this year.
Sunday after we went swimming in the Mendenhall river ( because the Takhini was too high)
we meet these deer right outside our driveway.
Yesterday i climbed a mountain again, all day in the blasting sun, 
I lay in a little creek after.
Today uhum, after basically too hot for mosquitoes the last week or so,
some nasty flies came out, which had me put on clothes after days of naked skin.
And a sphinx moth flew by.
I did catch it with my camera i will post the photo another day.

It's name
The Bedstraw Hawk-Moth or Gallium Sphinx (Hyles gallii)
Aww i have a garden full of Gallium, no wonder