Sunday, November 29, 2009


Last night my friend Bonnie came out. She is my friend since the Atlin days. Middle mountain and Bratnober mnt. catching the morning light.

This afternoon we met up in town with Norm Hamilton We meet at the Yukon river, which is close to the damn totally open water, snow and ice along the gurgling eddies and rushing rapids. Bonnie and i are models for; 'a photographic show, designed to increase public awareness and acceptance of people regardless of sexual orientation'.
I have the length of model alright, but come with pimple and protruding tooth. :)
But it is a neat experience to work with a professional photographer. Thanks Norm

Friday, November 27, 2009

Taku River Tlingits

(pronounced klingkits)

Brian an Vicky live in this area in the winterIt's an hour flight. Check out their blog!

Memories again, these photos are from, to be exact 23 and a half years ago.
Vernon's catch. They are commercial fisherman.

Vernon Williams and Lester Jack fixing the nets.

Me (25) at the US/Canadian border. While we were waiting for the fishing to be opened. Which is strictly regulated. The men took me to a lonely marker of the border.

Another day Rick took me in his motorboat to Twin Glacier in Alaska (no border crossings here) to get some ice to cool the fish being caught the next day.

For memories sake: I remember standing on the dock in Atlin, backpack and all, to wait if Jon Mahoney, could fit me in the plane. When the little bush plane was full i would not be able to come. I squeezed in!
We had to make camp when we arrived, at an old campsite of Sylvester Jack, (the chief back then) There was an old cabin, an old bus. And i forgot if we set up the walltent or if it was already there. The water of the river was light green, full of glacial silk, the trees where enormous. And there was a little piece of road along that river, ending nowhere. In the evening i would walk it, for walking's sake.
We did have an outdoor shower, oh, what a delight, in those days i was still used to showering daily.
The humming birds loved the bright tarps of our tent, and fluttered around us.
We ate wild meat, that Vernon had brought. I remember that often when we came back to the camp, i started the fire made coffee and cooked dinner. Ahh back then i loved that task.
During the day we either explored the river in the little motorboat, or worked on the nets. Fisheries established when the fishing would be open, which i don't know how that is regulated. One evening we got the radio call, that it would be open for 24 hours or so, starting 5 AM. Early that morning we set off with the boat to their fishing hole, i remember a conjunction of two rivers, maybe two arms of the same river. We set up a small camp, wore our rain gear day and night, exposed skin lathered with mosquito dope. We do sleep a little bit, due to a small hole in my sleeping bag, i wake up with a bag full of mosquitoes.
When i didn't sleep, i gutted fish and fish and fish. Ahhhh again, i who never so much as looked at meat or fish before it ended up on my plate. I could hear my family laugh at what kind of job i had taken on now.
When the allotted time was up, the plane would come in and get the fish. Again, when i would fit in i would get a ride, when not, i would have to stay to another week.
I did have a very beautiful week, gorgeous wilderness and meeting all the river people and working(i liked being useful back then)
I have to ask Vernon, i think they did worry about me, and were happy to see me go, as fishing is busy enough without having to look after a city girl. What ever the reason i remember being anxious to get out. Wondering if i didn't fit in the plane, would i fit in the next week or the next?
On 3th flight i slipped in between the last of the fish.

Sorry Jon Mahoney, i never payed for the flight :) I do like to add the end of this tale. Jon (the pilot) was my ex-lover, I was under the impression that i didn't need to pay; because, he had been my lover recently and was only taking me if there was room in the plane. I gave him the 80 dollar (so small an amount:) cheque, but felt i didn't want to pay him. I cancelled the cheque and had him go to the bank without telling. oops.
That 80 dollars, you might think i was a spoiled brat for not paying, which i was, but a few months later returning home. I had to pay 80 dollars at London England airport to be allowed on the plane to Amsterdam. It was the last 80 dollars in my pocket. I always thought it was preordained for me to be that way, that day i didn't pay.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Taku River memories

Today i was at the craftsale at the Thomson Centre, i sold some of my stuff, so i am very happy, but that's beside the fact.
We had so much fun!
Coming in with my table and things, i run into a friend from the Atlin days (85/86) Just a few years ago we met again. This does happen here in the Yukon (Atlin is BC, but really....)regularly, because over a vast area of land there is only a few of us. You travel hundreds of miles and basically meet the same people.
My friend is selling her book; My Darling Davis by T.G Diamond. It is very good! honest.
So after finding our spot, Sonja (who i share my table with) and i set up shop. Getting to know our neighbors, which is a story on its own. But then i somehow look eye to eye with my neighbor across the aisle, and see his name the same instant, and my memory already sharpened by Theresa.
It is Vernon!
Well, you know how it is when you haven't seen someone for 25 years :)
I was Vernon's deckhand, Salmon fishing the first week of July 1986.
It was a week i will never forget, definitely it enhanced my love for the wilderness, being out on the Taku, away from any road. The only roads the rivers.

He is selling smoked salmon,from the Taku i suppose and actually sells more than any of us.
There is Sandy, selling, draft ladies. She supplies us with home made cookies. Than there is Sandra, who polishes gemstones and turns them into jewellery, she turns out to be lots of fun, but first we glare at her, as she get squeezed in between us.
And the people to our right were very nice too, but somehow we didn't get to know them as well. And than we do have some customers that like to hang out with us :)
After Sonja and I sell some of our crafts, we start trading. So we end up with money and Christmas gifts. (3 for myself really; the book, a necklace and earrings)
And i do like to add, to sell paintings that are a little...daring, added to the fun.
Thanks for a wonderful day

more art

This art sale/expo,
I am not attending, as it is on the other side of the planet, but if you read this from across the ocean, you might.

have fun and fill me in.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


tomorrow is the day
of the craftsale
at the Thomson Centre
9am till 3 pm
please come out
I am selling

my husband :)

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Things happen

Alexander and i both have something.
Alexander injured his knee and i well i have a pimple on my forehead.
The pimple being a boil i think. I feel terrible to talk about it, and would feel upset reading about it.
I know the thing on my forehead is already disappearing. And the knee well that is a more serious matter.
Both our condition are obvious and draw attention.
For Alexanders knee i am kind of frantic and want to know exactly what is going on medically. For my happening i am very much more relaxed and walk around today with a big glob of charcoal mixed with goldenseal and ground flax. (In town i cover it up)
But what interests me is how people react. (all meaning very well) How often people feel reassured if you do or would go to the doctor. Me included.
And yes it is easy to go to the doctor, let her/him prescribe you a quick fix and voila, healthy again.
I will never say what i do is the thing to do; but to trust our own body's ability to heal,to listen to that body and trust our own judgement what to do. I believe in that.
I have never (as an adult at least) had something like this. And kind of had to figure out what to do. Knowing what i know, reading about it and! listening to others.
I trust that i am on the right track. And i think that is most important, knowing that I am OK, that i did what i could and that my forehead will be beautiful again.
Something like that and not so much what i did or used for treatment.

Monday, November 23, 2009

cats in wet grass


taking life a little lighter
hold on to the summer for a bit
withdrawing for a moment

go take a bath in awe
you cannot see beauty
if you sit on top of it

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Muskrat push-up

To continue my conversation (i am coming from my elk post), there are several good websites on Muskrats.Ondatra zibethicus

Yesterday i found two push-ups on moose skull lake. I always wonder how will they make it through the winter, as i think this lake freezes solid (no fish). But every year there are these push-ups in the beginning of the winter?? I my self are going back to that website. Always so little i know.

ps. It's a bird who made the prints. And carried something off, I found pieces of material from the push-up farther on the lake, obviously being dropped from the sky.


It's cold!
Yesterday a sunny cold day, today a cold gray day.
Today a busy, people day anyway, but yesterday i went for a nice long walk.
I have to say though my energy is changing. I sleep too much and feel restless at times. Yesterday too, in the beginning of my walk too, i was antsy, and i didn't know if i was coming or going.
But sooon......
I am struck by beauty,
I see a grouse, many animal tracks, the sky is blue, the lake a great whit expanse, with long shadows of the low sun. A little overflow(ruining any possibility of skating) but interesting for walking in.
I walk straight North, coming out on blue china swamp. And sure enough even with this cold, there is still water pouring out of the mountain. I here the gurgling under neath the snow, and find two open holes the size of a fist. I drink the 'warm' water.(my hands and cheeks are frozen, everything above freezing feels warm).
I climb the drumlins, and the views are spectacular, the sun in this latitude forever setting. It glides along the horizon, never reaching any height.

Friday, November 20, 2009


added Nov 21 2009. Thanks technobabe for your comment. I am very :) Grateful for the elk herd here. But it is all kind of controversial. They are so tame, because they were never hunted, because they were an introduced species. Anyway if you are interested, you can google Takhini Elk Herd. I just did, but cannot find any good article that i would recommend.
By the way i think the coyote in the area are feeding on the elk, my husband contradicts that. :)


you blame it on lust
or did you mean love?
you say i am obsessed
you think
my whole life is based
on one single thing

how wrong you are
it is you
who did put kindling in my fire
you stirring it
your singleness
your life full of possibilities
your freedom
maybe caused me to find mine

and you accuse me
of loving too much

Maybe it is me
eating all that wild red meat
i could blame it
on the sun
on the moon
on my mother receiving
my father's seed

how far
do you want me to go back
maybe you are right
after all
no matter where i go
all i know is

there is just me
only me
for that matter

Thursday, November 19, 2009


Steven D. Farmer: The Coyote; Wise Fool. Accept your follies and find the teaching in them. Trickster; Sociability; Adaptability; Wisdom-keeper.

Ted Andrews: Coyote is shapeshifter, illuminator and uses pranks to teach and help people learn by their foolish mistakes and to laugh at themselves.

me: haha, i was laughing all day all ready, and yesterday, and...
And then i see this big coyote along the highway. First i thought it might be a wolf, looking at it's size. I know what she's eating. (I 'll post that tomorrow :)
But Coyotes look at you quite friendly, where as an encounter with a wolf is quite haunting.
I like the power of seeing a wolf, but i was very happy with this beautiful big coyote.
And these days in my life coyote is quite appropriate. I am doing, enjoying things, that i never thought i would. And it gives me great joy, to be that way :).
I still find my self quite foolish, but talking to Norm Hamilton today, i might come out of the closet soon. It is not what you think it is! I really don't like to be so secretive, but well you know, this is a blog, a very public space. And really it's my relatives i fear, haha, I run away from them half way across the globe, and now with the Internet, they are here to haunt me:) (hey, any familymembers reading this; I love you, don't worry.) When i feel more self-assured, i will illuminate you. Because really i am very excited and it's nothing really. I am going on to long, because really it's nothing. And as Norm was saying; we are all unique, but way more the same than we realize.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


the wind, the frost, the water
they play
with sand and snow and rocks
lines and patterns
ice on the beach
water in the lake
sand in ice on snow with rocks
snow on rocks with air in ice
water lapping noisily
snow rippled sand
ice flows over rocks
etcetera etcetera
innumerable combinations
changing all the time
as does the light

Sunday, November 15, 2009

in progress

the wind died down
the sun did not yet shine
dusk comes too early
i shiver
days fly by
sunday laughter
recalling good times
forever falling
strokes of pink
your skin against mine
catching up
in long dark nights

Saturday, November 14, 2009

The wind is howling

I hate how i always say; how i love this or that or for that matter you:)
It sounds so pathetic, but i can't help it. When i see a certain sight or feel being touched, hear a lovely sound, it stirs me.
When i get touched by this love, my heart opens up and i howl.
Today the wind is howling with me, the sight of whirlwinds, the blowing against my skin. Please forgive me, and let me love so easily.

This morning the wind is booming already. Not letting my self being fooled by the thermometer, i know it's warm (Just below zero C) out there, and i walk out in just a little piece of black lace, haha. (It's true, that's why i couldn't live in town, can you imagine: this woman howling in her underwear. Tell me what would you say.)

Then as the wind keeps blowing, i have things to do inside; getting ready for that craft sale, my student comes now one and half hour on Saturdays. Housework. Anyway the light turns grey/yellow before i make it outside. First without a toque, my hair blowing in my face, my ears freezing. I return and dress a little better.
The yard is full of spruce needles and cones, fireweed is blown to pieces and behaving like small tumbleweed. Whirlwinds of blown snow; when they hit me my clothing still not sufficient. The trees bend and creak. The sky incredible. The mountains barely visible. It's beautiful :)

Friday, November 13, 2009

craft sale


I did click on 'Help', but i got lost, and still have no idea what to do.
Here is my problem; A few weeks ago i addedFireweed Meadowto my blogroll.
Fireweed meadows is posting regularly, but it doesn't show on my 'blogs i read'.
All the other blogs i read, do automatically give updates. (Which is wonderful! thanks to incredibly smart people out there in cyberspace, making this all possible)
Does anyone knows what's going on here, and how i can fix it? Thanks.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Hauling water

Ahhhh, i haven't done much blogging lately. I guess i was frozen in that minus 33 C.
But last night i woke up a few times, the wind howling around the house, with big booms. hmmm i love it! What's new. The beautiful thing about the weather here is, in the Yukon, nothing ever lasts long. Well the snow on the ground, but that quite fine with me, preferable even.

Anyway the wind clears my head, besides changing the weather. Not that i was frozen in here, the weather never that cold as in the last post.

I did had several good stories this week. But never had time to put them down. And now i have to go to work . Here are some photos of last eveninghauling drinking water
At Stony Creek

Sunday, November 8, 2009

-33 C

I am still in bed, Don comes in and asks me; How cold do you think it is?
As the house is warm and i don't have a clue in general and i thinking, well it must be something special for this time of year, because he is asking. I say; around zero.
It is 35 C below!
Now that's what i have to go see for myself. (Because well Don, you know, he is very unreliable :) So, i dress up a bit, you know -35 C is cold. Stepping outside it doesn't feel cold, it doesn't cut into my skin, it doesn't come in through the seams of my clothing, it doesn't freeze my nose or is in anyway hard to breath. hmmmmm my breath does come out steamy.
Walking to the thermometer, which is down in the forest a bit, by the outhouse. It is; yes, minus 33 Celsius. Wow!
That is kind of normal for this time of year though, but a first for this season. And this being the coldest time of day, just before the sun rises.
I will check what Whitehorse is having and Haines Junction. Mendenhall right smack in the middle, geographically, but the temperature can be quite different from both. Also in Mendenhall itself the temperature can vary.

Ha! A whole chapter about one minor thing. You see, i love the weather!

8.45 am now. It's got Don and me going. No where in the Yukon it is that cold. The sky is blue with pink clouds.
Haha it is -20. Still colder then anywhere in the Yukon (i didn't check Old Crow yet)
I thought, i check the thermometer attached to the house, which we find is cheating, because, well, it is attached to the house. I walk back to the outhouse,
And! now with more daylight i see that the thermometer is frosted over up to, indeed, the -33 C mark.

So that's what we do here in the winter for excitement, get all excited about nothing. And laugh at ourselves.
I hope it got your attention. :)

Saturday, November 7, 2009


This is Evelyn. She was born on October 21 2009
Her happy parents are Linc and Twayla.
And my long time friend Bonnie Robinson is one of the grandmas.

I met Bonnie in 1985, in the Atlin Inn, (that be a good story for another day) for now it suffices to say, that she was the first wilderness woman i met. Thank you Bonnie.
And Linc, you were very young, but the oldest of the three boys. I can still see you guys, and i'm happy to say that you still have that same sweet smile!

And that Evelyn too, may stay as sweet as is now!

Friday, November 6, 2009

i cicle

It's a totally beautiful world. So peaceful.
I wonder why i ever feel miserable, or that there's war for that matter.
So, i had some struggle in me and i tell you i didn't resolve at gun point.
And to get to that point, apparently there is someone in Whitehorse who started a campaign to get all the Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan home. (if you know more let me know, i just caught a glimpse of it on the radio)
I am all for peace. And today i proved my point again that struggles of any kind are very well solved by loving.

This peace in me i let you know how long it last.
So this morning i felt miserable yet again. My struggles; that i felt so aimless, not knowing what to do with my life and having no energy.
So, i did several necessary, but mostly enjoyable things, reached out to friends and finally i just went to bed to read a book. This book happened to be; Hana's suitcase (a most lovely book about the Holocaust) which might have something to do with my change of mood.
You know this is a long story, when you get tired reading here, i will say now, it has a happy ending.

Anyway i suddenly felt the urge to do get out. Well the world was calling, ravens, magpies and gray jays that is and the temperature around zero, snow, sunshine and blue sky.
I wonder if this blogging sometimes get in the way too, it being the goal instead of my real goal; to be out there.
So i focused on this walk being just for me.
And soon enough beautiful things started happening (i know, as always)
The deer don't show very often, but right behind the house there are an incredible amount of deer tracks.

Here on the hill it looks like city traffic, but it is only deer tracks.
There is many more animal tracks everywhere.
I cross the little lake, tentatively, as it has been a bit above zero. But nothing to worry about. On the Blue China Swamp, i do fall through a little bit of ice, and hear the lovely sound of gurgling water. I find it's origin, where it comes out of the ground. The black water, reflections, the white snow and the ice formation are stunning again. I climb up the drumlins and enjoy the view. Oh and on the way, on the first climb, out of the swamp, before the drumlin, i find this icicle.

A close up, on top of this post.
Anyway to make a long story short, I am totally in my element again. And know again what live is about. Hmmmmm so what is it about?

Just be.

haha, In a conversation these things are easier said, as here in black and white.

Just being, i feel very happy
and after my walk, two most wonderful friends phoned me, to confirm it all.
How does that happen? when you feel good, good things happen.

Monday, November 2, 2009

more about me

Maybe these symbols in the logs, tell me some secret i don't know.

I wrote the following a few days ago.
I feel i am too much focused on myself these days.
But somehow i have to go through that it seems.
OK after waking up good yesterday, which says something but really nothing.
I felt lousy most of the day. Same this morning i wake up good (energized, well rested, happy) and slowly a tiredness creeps into my bones.
Which i feel right now, typing is kind of a nice thing to do, as i can sit quietly and the words just flow.
Again i had the most incredible dream. As i always have taken great interest in dreams, i must give myself credit for having good dreams :) This one, like most dreams had lots happening possible and impossible. We had moved to this incredible beautiful location, an island in a blue lake surrounded by glaciers. The house was built above a creek. All very lovely, the house was old,falling apart and really too small though, (hmmmmm last night's house, foundation was rotted away.)

And here is picture from two days ago.

Today it is my moon time. Which is still on time.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

waking up

Here the deer eating the last of my kale.

And know with the snow on the ground. It is winter NOW here. -20 C this morning. All perfect October being the month of transitions, November; winter. Now i can rest in peace, hibernate a bit. And it seems that's what i was doing already, for the photos i didn't even have to come out of my den. Through the window i watch the birds, and this year an influx of squirrels, who are all roly-poly, nice and fat, (the bird food, i am sure)
And last night, peeking out, the evening light was beautiful. Dark gray above and a gray-yellow stripe of light where the sun was setting, putting an interesting light cast on the snow and the trees.
Ah i know dreams are only interesting to oneself. (but feel free to share yours with me:)
But in my dreams last night, i was out and about, and met a beautiful white moose. No wonder i woke up happy. I wonder about that. How do people wake up, what is your first thought? For me, no, i don't always wake up happy, often an uneasyness of some kind. I do remember as kid, just waking up, neither happy nor sad, just alive! I like that!