Saturday, November 21, 2020

What do I know?

 Yes I am sitting here in the dark typing. Another attempt to look at the screen instead of the keyboard.

Which is very hard for me, but hey as you see it is working.

In with this I would like to make a point. My desire to look at the keyboard like now, even in the dark I am looking towards the key board now, oh dear. 

Try again

So you can see a desire like that, is not helping me to type better.

 on a total different note, I also have a strong longing, for a few days now to go to the 911-pond.

And that I compare to my sisters desire to travel, and I assume many people miss travelling.

Oops and right now my husband's desire to have the radio on, while not even listening. It drives me crazy, like now when I am writing this post, I do not want to listen to the radio. A front line worker is being interviewed, I think she has been on air with the very same story since April now. Sorry I have no patience fro that.

That is actually another post, I think in people and on radio ( we do not do tv or internet ) I too easy pick out the negative....I want to see the beauty first and yes I do want to be aware of the negative...I believe in the fact that everything has two sides.

This way , here now, this blind typing takes me way too long. I post this as is, Hopefully, I always hope that this is being read and that the readers have their own thought accordingly What i am that some thing is triggered, something new. Is there someone out there? Are you there?

Something that makes you more at ease, more satisfied with what is, in this very moment.

Friday, November 20, 2020

CO2 emissions

 Like Corrie I like listening to the radio, but when I write fiction, my characters are more clear then I am myself, like i listen to the radio, but most often only half,  I miss half of the story.

In Corrie her gossip is acceptable, because she is a character in a story, but in myself I try to at least become aware of it when I do it. This awareness is like listening to the radio playing in the back ground, background noise, So the awareness of being in the moment and knowing when I long to talk gossip, my ways are like the background noise, I am somewhat aware but unable to turn it off. And not really knowing if I just have a critical mind or do I just like to pick out the negative.

So this morning I heard something on the radio about CO2 emissions, you probably heard something too lately, it's news again. I took sides with the radio announcer, she asked  the expert something like , what do we have to do? The expert said, get ready for an increase in cost and for the government regulations.

To me the answer was a big joke like the one Corrie was laughing about in the last post.

Increase in cost won't be a problem, because earlier in the news it said that the rich (most of us) have an excess of money at the moment due to covid. 

And being ready for regulations? What the heck? To me we have to change our ways USE LESS CO2 which means, turning off the computer NOW, oops.

It is very hard to change and I think that might be why people do not like to talk about it. The radio announcer, good for her, she tried.

As everything today is relevant with Covid in mind, this is also, we do travel less. Amazingly

Yes travelling in most cases, causes CO2 emissions

But I invite you to think, what are you ( if you are in on this necessity, I assume not everybody is concerned) 

What are you doing LESS?

Less is more, maybe you have read my stories in the past about that.

Like now we travel less, we do have more time to go for a hike ( I have seen this with my own eyes, not having this many hikers this summer as anytime before).

And I? What will I do today?

.....see  i have to think very hard, stop typing now

Yes that would be one thing, turn the computer off, less computer time, I can stop now, but really I am not  willing at the moment to spend less time on it during the coarse of a day.

Today I will: turn off the lights this time of day, NOW, I did, I can type in the dark, somewhat harder for me..  And coming mornings I can do things that do not require the lights to be on, like listening to the radio, meditating, reserve these thing for the dark hours, and use the daylight for things that need light....

I will let you know how that goes.

Thursday, November 19, 2020

gossip or just crazy stuff

 Its Corrie here again, in these crazy covid  days, she listens to the radio a lot,  mostly to comment on the crazy covid rules, crazy according to her, one sided she will say, which is interesting because she  herself lives a very solidary. Social distancing, because she is not well loved and has no one to keep distance from in the first place. Anyway she listen to the radio, it is about the guy who brought his mother here from California, and now he cannot understand  the problem with that, Dave Black treats him very respectfully. Which according to Corrie makes it all quite hilarious: thinking, while everybody in the country is living with travel restriction, this man cant understand why he cant bring his ailing mother here and  on top of that expects yukon health care to just puts its big and caring arms around her and him!  Now he asks  the public, how can he be expected to just bring her back in a day notice...Corrie talks  more to the radio then to Philip,  a no brainer pal. 

Then there is a knock on the door, it is Marion, the next door neighbour ( 2km) with an equally hilarious story. Marion wonders why her, plumber, is upset with her. Well asks Corrie why is he upset with you. what did you do. Well I just asked him to give me a free estimate for some work needing to be done,... on she goes , she told him in the same sentence she is not going to hire him for the work  because she already found an other plumber but she does need two estimates.

Corrie explains...ehhh i think i would  somewhat mad, if asked by a client  to do some work ( writing up an estimate is work yes) for free. No, no, Marion goes, you do not get it, I do that all the time and everyone always has been ok with that. Philip tries to get a word in too but to no avail Marion has done many favors to others after all  and as soon as she steps out of the door Corrie and Philip burst out laughing, and take joy in repeating, playing out, the whole story.

 After Philip and Corrie calm down, Corrie gets out the the astrology charts, there must something in the stars, some retrograde planet, because this now is the 3th time today.

 Earlier that day Corrie  had gotten a phone call from a shady friend, lets call him John. John had had  a brush with the law recently, but  now wanted to inform Corrie, what a friendly policeman was handling the case. And!  John said, as Corrie knew someone else who was also active in the same illegal activity. Said John: You should go to your friend and tell him to go take himself in, to that friendly policeman, and the police man if your friend  is honest about it like me, will give him some slack too!

Whoopy ding life is just too good to be true!

And if you noticed, Corrie has more friends then she realizes, enough of them at least to keep a little distance.

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

stepping into a different world

  Now at this moment, sipping rose petal tea. I just recently discovered how  I like to drink rose petal tea;  put a small handful of dried rose petals, and add hot water (Not! boiling) The rose petals will float and every sip you  smell and taste the summer smell of roses.

It's almost -30 C outside, i just checked.

The other day I was invited along to someone's house. It was stepping into what  I feel was the 70s, could be the 80s. The people, their clothes, the chairs, the colors in the house, mostly everything. The only modern world item was a laptop and tv screen.  The way a wrap-around ( the batik type thing) was used as table cloth. I think I remember doing that decades ago. ok. haha. well I still sometimes do it, but I consider myself a bit odd,  timeless. It certainly not something I had seen in someone else's house in that way. It is hard to describe the house, everything seemed to have been acquired at garage sales or the like, but many many years ago. Even the food served was reminiscent of  good old days.

The tea came in cups that only my mother would still have, the ones with flowers and a golden rim and what was offered was herbal or black.  

The choices of tea not so unusual, I always think it is just me that would like to see some greater creativity, more local, in choices of tea. A few of my friends will offer  hand picked spruce tips or wild chamomile, etc.

But what is  the moral of my story  here|: People can live that way, and very happily at it; with stuff that is totally good, useable and sturdy, stuff that might be 40 years old, older even.

I do not need to drink rose petal tea out of the latest Starbucks cup ( ha and as I am the last one to be up to date, maybe Starbucks is already old, maybe there is something newer to be had in the form of cups.) 

And now here I open my cupboard; no, i can't pride myself in still using left overs of  my grandmother's tea set. 

Please let me know if you do! Awesome!  is what I will say.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

I hope every story is a love story

 What I do know for sure is that... I, in my head now, am going from the idea of stories per day, to the story of every moment. So yes, I would like to say that every moment has a story, and everyone of those stories is a book.

I have heard people say that their head is so full of thoughts. So I assume many of us can relate, when I meditate, 20 minutes this morning, many thoughts, but I was able to not follow them and so to speak not let the story run  my mind. 

As a writer (maybe even if you do not write, you can still relate I think) For me there is being lost in thinking, not really aware, and opposite to that, as a 'writer' I am aware of thinking and let them run to pick which one I want to write down, or sometimes just type them like now as they come out.

haha what a miraculous feeling, to have the fingers be in sync with the mind.

How glorious!

But what I also love is that how in a single thought there is a knowing the whole story, without having to think it in thoughts.

If I for example think; "Mary", I can stop at that thought, and know the whole story, a  whole book, about Mary, that I have fabricated in my mind. It might or might not have  little to do with the real Mary. My story about her  might also be quite different depending on the day.

Today for me, hers is a love story; A most beautiful very special woman who was for 50+ years, in a most beautiful very loving relationship  with Gerry. When I think of Gerry, I see his smile, the twinkle in his eyes.

And a love story, I think, never really does end.

Saturday, November 14, 2020

my focus in meditation

 hmmmm much like my writing, NOW here i am typing, YOU Now you are reaidng.

But in my now, I had some music on and started dancing, but i am back.

I meditate to become more aware, and this morning I remembered to have an intention and  I added bodhichitta.

I meditate every morning for 17 minutes. Which  I feel I could now expand to 20 minutes, but 20 used to be too long, and 15 too short.

If you read the previous posts, I have been trying to get a sense of where  and when my mind gets hooked, and I get lost in thought.

This morning in those 17 minutes, i set 2.5 apart and was able to stay aware in those 2.5 minutes. Now it is in my character (not wrong or right) to always improve and again, i will try to expand that too tomorrow.

In those 2.5 minutes, I sat up, with my back supported, closed eyes most of the times, and in open awareness,  with the breath to come back too

I am dancing again

 and previously while writing I stop when Don asked for attention, he has interrupted me twice, all good, I got back to writing.

-riders on the storm-

In meditation  those 2.5 minutes this morning, I was able to not dance, to not be interrupted. Maybe feeling my toes maybe slightly wiggling, but not get lost in it, maybe hearing something, listening, but not losing focus on awareness. Thoughts would appear, mostly towards the future; what I would write here. But I was able to stay aware.

How cool is that? I am very proud of myself!

Why I write this, is to hear from YOU, really your meditation might be totally about something different. Please tell me. Or when what I describe here is something you do during the day, normal practice, of focusing on writing for example.

Monday, November 9, 2020

yukon biking survey

 Ohh looking outside: suddenly snowing bigtime 

and I buzzing with somewhat too much energy,  yesterday lethargic, today this, I already did a ton of stuff.

But shovelling snow later on will be good for me, the physical exercise will  for me both combat lethargy and hyperness.

And i am over with Corrie, she is just a gossip. And i being aware that my thought now shifted away from gossip to 'there is something wrong with the world' and 'I  know how to fix it"

Oops and unsuccessfully, I am always trying to improve on myself. These days it is Not reacting to insanity but being still ( quiet) when confronted  with  Don complaining.  Maybe if you know, and the following will help me with what i really wanted to talk about  which was - using a bicycle to get around-. 

But maybe you know how hard it is to change a habit. For me it is like i start erring on the other side, becoming ignorant of real needs, and often after an attempt falling back into the same pattern as soon as the focus is gone.

Like in my meditation I try to watch my breath and  catch the moment where i am thinking again. For me at the moment is like this. I am watching my breath ( for say plus 20 years i did not understand this practice, so i can pad myself on the back  that i finally get it) So I am paying attention to me breathing in breathing out, and i try to catch when i revert to thinking. barely possible for me, most of the time during a 17 meditation i will catch my self around 5 times having drifted of in thought after the fact. But what i noticed this morning, is that yes watching my breath i will have beginning of thoughts that i can let float by and keep attention to my breath but still around 5 times I did get hooked, the thought floating by within keeping focus on my breath are like little down spirals in my awareness. Whereas being in thought I am gone from awareness, that is till because of sitting or something makes me realize i was lost in thought. 

But there is also something else, while focusing on my breath i can also fall into dream state, like having a dream image appear. I know i have this lots, but from now on i also would like to watch it happen so to speak

As you see meditation is never boring

Neither is biking, I do not have a fat tire bike, but my bikes are somewhat of a mountain bike, Actually i have 3 bikes , as i said in the survey. After i did the survey i realized that actually have 4 bikes. I have trampoline bike, a bike with out tire to be used on the trampoline, I have used it once, no it is not a miskoop ( what is the English word for that?) It was made by son, and left behind.

Anyway i would have liked to add that on the survey, that would sound cool right a 60 year old woman owning a tramp bike. 

note, I am am receiving a shoulder rub again :):):)

What i would try to explain here too is that my mind goes from gossip to saving the world, both really strange ways to have the ego at work

Because really how do we change other people into bike riders, and why?

And what makes me a rider? Did I get lucky in the genepool?

.....hmmmm I do want to encourage you though, if you are not already a bike rider, to have a bicycle, there are lots in the dump, fix it up, have it fixed up if you have the money. I do think it is good for Mother Nature if we more often grab that bike, and NOT to drive 100 miles to participate in an event...what is that?! Oops you maybe love these bike events so much, and maybe it does encourage you to do an errand on the bike instead of taking the car.

Be good! use your bicycle! 

And me now going to shovel some snow I will first scoop out the trail to the bike shed.

Essential to riding your bike is that you can get to it in the first place.