Tuesday, June 29, 2010

climbing nipple mnt.

Finally i went on a hike again.on top

looking at it from the east.

I left at 7.30 am, wanting to make a good start. I have done this hike many times, and the first part i even have a trail, that i flagged in blue a few years back. In half an hour i am at that specific trail, following my ribbons through the forest. First i am happy to see atv tracks, someone is using my trail! I am always happy about that, because it makes for a better trail. After a while the atv tracks stop, as the trail becomes to hard to continue for a machine. After climbing the first ridge, going into the old creek bed where the forest is quite thick, i suddenly see some orange tape, not mine. They continued on foot! that makes me really happy, and i'd love to know who it was.
Soon there is no trail, the meadow i normally cross is quite wet, so i decide to turn north before it. Now this is the tough part,which actually always seems longer than it is. I come out by the foot of the mountain more to the East than usually, which is my luck because from here it turns out to be a straight climb up, instead of up and down through alder groves and such.
In just over two hours i stand on the top, a bit of a wind but blue skies. Here i like to wander a bit and sit and enjoy the views in all directions.
Sitting there, i contemplate, it is still early enough to go on to the next top higher, i really do not want to go back yet. In the past i have tried many different routes to get to this top. I know there is one route i never tried, because it is a little longer, but it follows a beautiful ridge for a while.
So i decide to go back that way, thinking it might be the worst decision, because i don't know what the terrain will be like.
The ridge is easy to reach and has big slabs of bedrock, forests with little dwarf poplar, beautiful spruce and some big solitary pine trees and of course great views. Then the ridge ends :) hmmm... well i knew that, i point myself into a certain direction that makes the most sense. and from here i am in dense forest,
but here and there lovely openings

I do come upon some tangled dead fall, too high to climb over too low to crawl under.
I manage and as always kind of loving it,but hoping it won't last too long. It doesn't. Now i have to keep my eyes open for an existing trail that will cross my path. I could easily miss it which could mean i have to bus whack all the way into the subdivision and when i miss that too eventually i will come out by the highway.
The trail is really an old cut line that nobody uses.
Lucky again, i see an old sawed off log, look left and right and indeed there is the trail. From here it's an easy walk home, i take of my sweater, which i only had to were for protection. Another hot day and at home i lay in the sun to rest.

Monday, June 28, 2010


where did it go?
i just wrote a post

how come i live in paradise?
the white roses are blooming
or was it
i walk with you, only you

i wrote like a dream
and maybe it did give too much information
from the deepest folds in my heart

but my day was so good, so very good
like living in a dream
of hot sun, soft breezes, exquisite flowers and all sort of birds
and dreaming of him
that did it
and to have that post disappear
woke me up with a start

how come i live in paradise?

(today July 5 2010 i found my lost post, it was in the drafts folder :)

today the white roses are blooming

i lay in the hot sun
and read
listen to heavenly music
the wind rustling through the trees
sweat forming on my skin
(by the way this sweat for me is a beautiful thing, when you live in the Yukon, when you don't work out and just don't sweat it easily.)
i do some meditating, send some Reiki
just to make my existence here somehow useful
earlier i went for a long walk
a slow walk around my little lake
slow, because ever step i take
heaven surrounding me
i send many birds up in a flutter
they're scared of me
little flowers everywhere
tall cotton grass
labrador tea blooming abundantly

who am i
to live in paradise
when i am
most in my element
like here today
when the white roses are blooming
when sweat forms in folds that only you should know
it's then
then i think of you...
you walking by my side
and i do not cry

Sunday, June 27, 2010

already famous

In the bush today, Don and i ran into two men, Alex (age 94) and Tomtom. As i had posted other boys quite famous in Whitehorse this morning, i asked these man if i could take their picture. Alex is my true hero, i love him. And i say he is the most famous and most popular man in the Yukon.
Today he was fixing up a cabin in the woods (they did a beautiful job!) This weekend he was in the paper as a war veteran, but he is probably most well known as an outdoor advocate and educator. I have mentioned him before in my posts, he still lives the outdoor life himself. Recently his 94 year old wife Sue, had to go to the hospital, but he hopes she will be out this tuesday, and he wishes to still have her home, to be looked after in her own house. Let's wish them all the best!

Photo by Vince Fedoroff
VETERANS REMEMBER – Bill Ford, Alex Van Bibber and Red Grossinger (left to right) are seen this morning at the ‘The Memory Project: Stories of the Second World War’, a new nationwide oral history project. Second World War veterans are interviewed, and five pieces of memorabilia are photographed and displayed on the web. See more coverage of this event next week.

Yukon Raised - MTV Casting Call

just promoting some yukon boys

that i remember as the cutest little kindergartners with heads full of curly, curly locks.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

twittering in the rose bushes

Yesterday, as i was making photos, something flew out of the rose bush i had seen that before, a junco,but in the prickly bushes i was unable to find a nest. Today as i looked, there was great commotion and suddenly the whole family shattered, the babies so cute, i left them alone to find the nest again.
To think i walked by them everyday several times without knowing.

And there is baby bluebirds under the eaves, i know that, i watch the parents often, and i can hear squeaking in the nest now, but no matter how hard (carefully) i try i can't see the babies in the nest.

Friday, June 25, 2010

rose garden

I call my art, rose garden art.
A few weeks out of the year i live in this rose garden
i will post more pictures on my art blog.
I also call it 'rose garden', as in my art i want to express....
i wonder. the idea was to express the perfection of life, or was it the perfect romantic relationship. Anyway to some how find that in myself, through my art. Because i know it's there, we all have the perfect rose garden in our self.

Well this photo is my rainwater basin surrounded by roses, i do live a rosy life.
In a way. more and more. somehow.

Through my meditations with a group of woman and the guidance of the voice of Pema Chodron, i had a realization yesterday.
I wonder what you think, if you will recognize what i say.

Is it that all of us or some of us, definitely me, have this great fear in ourselves. Pema and many teachers talk about it, so let me assume for now that that is so. My great deep fear these days is that i cannot look after myself. I think the real issue lays deeper. But that's where expresses it self now. It is not that there is great happenings that proof that somehow. Just that my car has been broken down for some time, and i don't have the money for a new one. That's all, really what a pityfull issue. My health is good, my kid is growing up quite happily, my husband is not running away from me, they are healthy. I live in a safe world, i have a roof over my head, etc etc.

I do think that many of us have a struggle of some kind.
Now i wondered, if i totally overcome that, would some other struggle appear, or will i never overcome this, is this just my struggle this time around? Or can i overcome it all?

Or do i just have to live fearlessly in the face of what ever appears?

that's what i figured yesterday, yesterday it seemed like a great insight, now it seems that everybody knows that and does that anyway.

I only want to say; to me it feels like i do not suffer now, even looking that pit of my own horror right in the face.

haha, i didn't anyway, or so it seems, now i know it all :)

again, again, i love to hear from you.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


these photos are from last weekend, riding in the Carcross area

the Watson river

Spirit lake

hmmm, sometimes my head is full of stories
now i don't know what to write
it must be the meditation i am doing
it trains me to become mindfully
which is a contradiction in it self
my mind is more quiet
letting my thoughts flow by
being more in the moment
Really, i am not truth full
the thing is
i am just not focused this moment
maybe other thoughts are on my mind
things i don't want to write about
i find when my mind is still
new thoughts have room to flow in
not the repetitive ones
and that is quite amazing actually
i wish i could sit here still enough and let that happen
here i sit...
how do you write?
does it flow in while you write?
does it flow in during the day
and you recall it?
is it an idea that came to you
and now you work it out?
or like Christopher's poems
where they seem not be your own
but just your voice
or how i often write
i go back to that place in the wilderness
and relive the experience
sitting here i suddenly remember what i wanted to talk about
it's that oil spill
Mother Earth is crying
know one seems to know
how to stop her flow of tears
we made her sad
why why does she cry like that
if i only knew
my own deep grief
and truly knew my happiness
yes then then
all these people working hard
to make it good again
would they stop her flow of tears
would she ever be okay again
yes, i do believe in that
if we send her rainbows of our heart
sing her songs of joy
i do believe
i believe in her
i see her amazing strength here
every single day

Monday, June 21, 2010


did anyone see that!

Happy Solstice from Spirit Lake

Yes, that is Spirit Lake there in the background. But the photo was not taken today.
Virginia and I did some riding over the weekend.

Solstice today
a hot summer day
that ends in rain
which smells sooooo good
and brightens the green and all the colors of flowers abundant

Sunday, June 20, 2010

a new born elk

for you :) I am not finishing this post today...
something came up..
My husband likes me to go for a drive with him, and after just talking to my 'boyfriend' i feel he needs some attention too.

Friday, June 18, 2010

listen to the thrush

well i wish
i had listened more
so i could tell you about it's song
but here i am, my head full of stories, so much to say, so much happening, not all good, not all bad.
quite happy and not sad:)
but i wonder do i listen? to what life is telling me.
one of my stories this week i deeply want to talk about
but i am not aloud
how can i tell you and still keep my vow
sometime this week, somewhere hidden in between all other stories of niceties and on the other hand more things breaking down this week,
i come upon a place
so magical
amazing really
i ask
can i make some pictures?
can i paint it maybe
write about it then
but i lead you along the path, because what you see here is nothing yet...
I had supper 8 pm writing this.
and now, can you help me , come, let's listen to the thrush (which one is it Mary ?:)

being pumped

When i got on this computer hours ago,
i felt pumped :) after
Alexander let me listen to his new i pod in his car, to lady Gaga
I actually like her song,
i have to admit i never heard it before
that's how i really know so little
this new computer very old
but it's working
that's me i am a little behind the times
What is this being pumped?
i don't know even if i say it right.
right now i feel soft, very soft
i have just read all your blogs, bloggers out there
thank you
and good night

Monday, June 14, 2010

No computer

My laptop finally gave up for good. I do have another seondhand computer in the car, and might be working with it coming friday, or after the weekend, or never, maybe i stay away from computers for good, just kidding, i love to be in cyberspace too much.

jozien x

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

positively birding

i want to write about positive thinking
some days, like yesterday
i have great fortune
i come upon a red-neck phalarope nest

for me, that is a real treasure
or to positively recognize the sound of the red-winged blackbird, before i see it.
these are for me as an aspiring birder great steps

but it is all very relative in many different ways
here i see this nest, i will have to ask you; who's nest is it? it is a black bird :)

And then there is the computer...
Yesterday it did not work, and i think i did everything right, including positive thinking.
But then Alexander comes home from work...
Then i know i what positive thinking is.
I told him about me not being able to get on-line again.
He being a teenager, of course he KNOWS it was all my fault. He will look at it. He KNOWS he will be able to get on. And then i glow with glee, because i love it how he is so confident, knowing he is smarter as his mother. And then i KNOW he will be able to solve the riddle of this computer
one more time again, even if i feel i did everything technical right just a few hours ago.
Your computer might always work right, but you might have other issues (so do i), nothing is for sure in this world, the only thing for sure is that things are impermanent. Now what did i learn today? Really, Nothing:)
Then there is HOPE.
I do hope to learn today, which black bird is nesting in the grass
In the meantime the weather and i are still SUNNY

Sunday, June 6, 2010

happy birthday

he is not home yet :)
so i post, by coincidence, this photo of the mountain Jane and i named 'alexander'
we climbed it a few years back on his birthday today it's the background for my sign on the highway

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

oh this computer

it is working now , June 5 2010
who knows for how long western white, i think, Pontia occidentalis

in the mean time it is already not this green anymore
the leaf miners have made the foliage grey green
i ....
i'll be back
it's just by accident Alexander found out that the computer is working again, or did he fix it? again. These photos i somehow put on last week. i will now first go to my email, and maybe do a decent post later,
when.. the computer still works.

here they are!