Monday, May 31, 2010

5 baby ravens

Hopefully soon i will be able to post a picture.

The sight i saw today was like a dream. everything perfect, the sound, the sun, the rock canyon, 5 BIG baby ravens lined up in their nest of sticks on the side of a cliff.

My computer needs a miracle, and Norman is given God a helping hand.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

i could not resist

we meet a baby Robin today!!
His mama is nowhere around, i hope they find eachother

Don and i drive out to Haines jct. to buy some more seed potatoes for the garden, unfortunately the potato farmer is no more. But.... where do we find some? In the most beautiful dump of the world, right under the St. Elias Range. We always stop there, you never know what you find. I also find some beautiful pieces of plywood . The last few days i have been painting on plywood, in order to go bigger, and too cheap to buy canvas.
And...... we find her garden
we all have fun watering.


My computer is still giving me problems
and the weather is too gorgeous to be bothered
i do miss blogging though
but i just wanted to let you know
i have not been eaten by the bear :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Bear Bliss

i finally! had a totally good day
no sadness lurking underneath
no sorrow no struggles
just a bear lurking in the bushes
papa bear gave me a big smile :-}

Oops, i spoke to soon, as i was typing here, my husband needed help and.... well as he is... what ever... i walked away and continue my post.

Bears, they look so sweet.

No, this bear this morning, he visited us a few times two summers ago. He is totally gorgeous as you see, a beautiful black shiny coat.

An encounter like that is different then with a porcupine, you realize. I wasn't afraid actually, i was in the yard close to the house. But i am totally alert, and have to stop myself from going closer, and always have a very closeby escape plan in mind.

My oh my, this is not a good time for blogging, now Alexander wants my attention, and he does not like it when i am behind the computer, because i pay no attention to what he says.

So toodeloo, i tell you about all the wonderful things of today later.

ps. my happiness is still up and running:)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

porcupine happiness

Okay, i am happy :)
that easy
it's just...

Thanks for all the wonderful comments yesterday,
it helped me a lot!

I guess i feel more content every day, well indeed how can i not, my surroundings are totally beautiful. And best of all the weather is totally gorgeous and there are no bothering insects. (there are two wasps in the house now, but as long as they stay by the window trying to get out, they are okay, well i will eventually let them out, because they might feel not quite in their element)

But what made me totally happy (for at least 11 seconds) was meeting this porcupine.
We surprise each other and are 6 feet away from each other, we both freeze, and where i get my camera, he/she slowly turns its head this way and that to see if i am still behind him. very very slowly he walks off and slowly gets into kind of a porcupine run.

Now that flash of happiness makes me think. Obviously just to be content is not enough for me, for some reason. Yesterday i realized, that in the poem i did not mention how i remember my heart skip. It was the companionship with Jane, where we look into each other eyes, fall into each others arms and know; here we are! we made it! we are a the top, elated.

So all this happiness might have to do for me, with sharing...
Well i know it does....
So i shared it with a porcupine. Darn, he didn't want to stay and he even put out his quills. As i did not expect him to react otherwise, i was fine, totally fine with that.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

the view

looking over a sea of green,
i used to look
always longingly
at those mountain tops
today i enjoy them for what they are
ever changing
now striped with snow
here in the evening light
i look up from my book
which talks about 'happiness'
is it out there?
is it right here?
i remember clearly
when i stood there
on those tops
i feel the rock
the wind
the elation of my heart
do you believe
happiness devoid of suffering
does it exist
for all of us
more then ever i love to hear from you

Friday, May 21, 2010


My computer is working again!
And spring has sprung!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Sunday, May 16, 2010

rainbow around the sun

Thursday evening i was sitting outside and a warm breeze blew in.
It carried clouds of leave miners, who will lay eggs on the poplar leaves and eventually turn the leaves grey, but let's not worry about that now.
to sit in a warm 'snow storm' like that is kind of neat.
Today they did not want to open their wings for me, but even so clinging to the tree they have a kind of beauty. Take note though they are very tiny, 2 mm long.

And don't look our leaves like blossoms?

What to write..... I am doing well. After my post Friday about my thoughts, i had many inspirational comments on the subject. Thank you so much. And i feel i made great progress on the matter. I don't want to say too much, i still feel tender, in the sense that how can one describe whispers in the wind.

But life is trying to proof it all to me, that all is good :) So much beauty. I saw Cinderella (thanks to Destiny, who was a dancing mouse), walked with a very dear friend, had archery lessons, found myself in the company of totally gorgeous women,
did Reiki, and more, and just now that ring.....

Friday, May 14, 2010

where's the ice

lesser scaup

Somewhere between now and last week, the ice went out.
I still walked on the ice of moose skull lake, i think it was Sunday May 9.
Now it is suddenly gone.
Nothing left.
The trees suspiciously look like palm trees :)

Leaves are coming out and lupines coming up

steep learning curve

I am on a journey, that seems to have a steep learning curve. So i hope when i am through it i master it. And it becomes as easy as biking. I don't know, i think i need a lot of practice. And your help:)

Over the years i have read a lot of 'self help' books. And some talk about, how your mind works. Well i am trying to watch how mine works.

I am ready to let go of certain thoughts. Because.... well... to start with the beginning.

Over a year ago i was troubled by negative thoughts, while i was in the woods on my beautiful walks. After trying different things, i asked my higher spirit to give me pleasant thoughts :)
It worked! Beautiful things started happening in my life. And for a long time i lived in lala-land (it was very very lovely:)
But somehow expectation rolled in, and you know what happens when you expect things.
And you might have read here,that i somehow got depressed.

I am over that, BUT
For some reason, i started to take flight in sweet memories or fantasies, related to those expectations. (all very lovely too)
Last week, i realized i have to let go of those memories/fantasies. because....well...
they are not real.

And my real life is not bad at all.
(Reading this you might wonder how healthy it is to live in the wilderness:)

Now i watch my mind. And whenever this memory/fantasy floats in, i let it float out,
over and over. sometimes i can go hours without those thoughts, sometimes they return within a minute.

The good thing is, i am able to stop them short.

I am very interested how it is for you.

For me i find:
a thought appears.
Before it is actually a thought in words i already know if it is the thought i try to let go of.
At that point there is no emotion yet.
So i try to let it go, before it becomes a thought or emotion.

That works to a certain point. Because at the same time i believe in awareness.
Now it seems, to be aware includes those thoughts. So in the period in between i slip into a state of unawareness. I can be totally happy, but as soon as i realize i am happy, 'boom' i remember everything......

Maybe i am beautifully entangled in the alders now, but i know the bright sunshiny meadow is ahead. And maybe a little altruistic but as Pema Chodron, i believe, my happiness is for the happiness of All. I will go sit in the sun, wait for your comments and read her teachings, which i did not do yet:)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

along the river

I finally went for a long walk.
With Mary.
As the water in the rivers is so low now, we walked along the exposed shore of the Takhini River.
We start at the sand dunes on the Kusawa road.
And i tell you it is a blistery cold day! :)
We have a very very nice day though, too much, i am rather tired, to tell it all.
This is an Townsendia, none of us knew this flower, which delights us to no end. We actually found it at the end of the day, on the high bank of the Takhini River. on a little side trip we did after our hike.

Somewhere at a big bend in the river we took a short cut, finding this Burl forest, with one gigantic Spruce recently blown over.
The sand dunes are always on the move, And they are higher than the forest, so it blows sand over the edge, claiming more forest all the time. And as it looks like very fast. After the snow has melted just a few weeks ago, there is an inch or two of sand on top of the snow. We exposed it coming down the sand slope coming into the forest.

Today, it was such a good day, i can't believe it, we see so much. And with Mary i get to recognize all the birds. And what i love about it all that it was unexplored territory for both of us. Mary has paddled the river often, but never walked on the bottom of it.

Candling Ice

one lonely snow goose

Apparently, snow geese congregate south of here at Marsh Lake, and then their travels take them to the far North, to breed at the coast.

He/she looked very lonely but shared this beautiful pond at Virginia's with a beautiful flock of ducks.

ps, so you know :), we are eating out of the 'garden' again. fireweed tips.

Monday, May 10, 2010

the way the ice melts

snow and clouds
ice and water
and i love the way ice melts
the sound of it
when you listen
when you play with it

and i will get a better photo of the 'candles' which are big perfect crystals.
I would like to say something philosophical after yesterday's post. How the ice held me up
how now it's transforming, how i can now kick it, and crystals fly
turning into water too cold to swim
so i wait
and will dive in again
and be lifted up,riding clouds

Beth Hart:
and it lifts you up
and it puts you down
then it feeds you life
then it lets you drown
when it holds you up
and slowly tells you back
and you know, and you know......

something like that:)

and the photos appeared in the wrong order
i might fix it
not now

Sunday, May 9, 2010

this elusive bridge

Happy Mother's Day!

I am still a child i am still a mother, but...

Looking up the word elusive in the thesaurus i see the word Elysian below it.
Now there's a word i did not know, but can deal with; Elysium
it even sounds wonderful

I know this place of perfect bliss, blessedly so

Maybe it has to do with me growing up, not a child anymore, my main existence not mothering anymore.
but somehow i used to be on the other side of a certain bridge.
what i am trying to talk about
I knew that my happiness was not depended on outer circumstances, i knew it as in experiencing it. I could feel happy no matter what, not as in all the time. Somewhere in the struggle, when not struggling anymore. somewhere after experiencing Beauty, when i knew it was not the glory of it making me happy.

Being loved or loving..... Is that it? It has to happen in the middle of the bridge.
Not one on either side.

I used the be on the one side of, -i am happy no matter what-
Now i find i am, no matter what, on the other side. The side where i am not wholesomely happy.

You know what i am saying? What the heck is that?

Where is my Elysium?
Why is it so elusive?

Don't worry, still i am Happy, somewhere.... Right Now... Am I?....

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Bright Red

The Blue Boat
Dark Bark Lonely for Color
Enlightened Beetle

When i started my blog i did not plan to use photos. Now i feel kind of at loss without a photo. I hope you hang in here with me, well you don't have to.
My story today is not that interesting, but with the photos, i didn't take, there would at least have been some color. bright red and bright blue.

The weather is beautiful again, i do love these warm spring days and spend most of the day outside. Doing some spring cleaning, and the usual.
In the afternoon Kip comes over to show us something that happened in the last few days (i was in town).
You might know that i said that our place is quite sheltered. Kip has some property out here, the next lot over (kind of). His land is a natural meadow, but he cleared it some more, so it's probably 10/15 acres open. Now it turns out the wind can roar there! His cabin was lifted of it's footings and the boathouse completely destroyed.
And yes his beautiful bright blue wooden boat.. definitely damaged, laying on it's side. very sad.

I keep walking, loving it, but longing for color. (oh i remember now, i did see some bright red earlier, the cap of the Northern Flicker shining brightly in the sunlight, but that was not the bright red i was going to talk about.)
The mountains are still pure white, and the forest doesn't even have a shimmer of green.
Don't get me wrong, it is all lovely. And at the end of my walk close to home, i get a surprise. I come upon the biggest standing dead poplar i have ever seen. :)i like this. It's bark is what i use for my paintings. I run home to get a chisel and hammer to peel it off carefully. Carefully to try to get the widest pieces possible.

Ahhh as i peel of the bark, there it is, i am taking away someone's home. The most incredible bright red beetle. And here in this land devoid of color that is something. (i did wish i had my camera, you would have liked him too)

At home i work my pieces, they are going to be something!
And i look up what kind of neat beetle i have seen.....
hmmmm i am very disappointed with it's name, it is
-Flat Bark Beetle-. How? Why?
to console me it's Latin family name gives me some hope, that it is a special beetle.
It is Cucujidae
dae - is used by all insects (i think)
that leaves us with cucuji
cucu - cuckoo
and to at least certain people in India, ji - is an additive given to you when;
You have come to realize your true Self. (right?)
So there you go this beetle is an - Enlightened Bird - i knew it.
(i made this up) (oh you guessed)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Lapland Longspurs

The joyful singing these mornings comes from the Lapland Longspurs. You can listen to their song on this website, which i linked in the column on the right, under delights.

They are a common bird. And when you are from the states, you tell me, that's where they live in the winter. Now they are on their way to the Northern Coast to nest.

Here in my skies, they sweep through in great flocks. landing also in my yard (how fortunate i am, that they find me every year)to feed on the ground. And to delight me with their beautiful song, when they sit high in the poplars.

Last night we were talking in the yard, all was quiet now, and suddenly they sweeped over in one movement. Followed by a small hawk of some kind.

The snow is all gone again, elfin creek, running as wild as it will be.

Monday, May 3, 2010

golden crowns

I forgot to say yesterday, that there was a Golden-crowned Sparrow in the nettle patch.
Now, i hear lots of birdsong, everybody is delighted, like me;
2 inches of snow fell last night.
:) why does snow always make me happy? Today it's the whims of Nature, i love it when it tricks us. 'Moisture' they call this kind of shower in Camrose Alberta, i like that. And here that helps melt the ice on the lakes.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

purple gemstones

i know
it's just
there's a
whole lotta love
right around my very own rock


I am having trouble displaying my 'gems'. what is that, i do allign everything to the left, but somehow, it doesn't want to go there? words appear on the right side of the photo. any suggestions?


The stinging nettles are coming up! they are tiny.

my garden is big.

Too big for me to look after, i promise i will look after my nettle patch.
Last years i was more interested in hiking about, this year even now my hands stained with paint, i am painting.
My thing is, i don't have much will power, i can only do things i really want.
And then when i feel low, like this morning, i cannot do a thing.
so how does a nettle come out of the half frozen ground as little purple treasures? "man i gotta get out this town...." (I loooooove this music of Beth Hart, i am listening to now, many days now)
Anyway i came somehow out of my low, and i don't really know how. It's like Nature in springtime.

I will post some crystals i found today, above here, the way blogging works.
The nettles are who i am, the gems are how i feel.

and when you want to read more about the good things nettles have to offer go here.