Friday, October 1, 2010


As you see, the snow is gone again, one snowball left in the yard from someone that started to make a snowman.

I went to the 911-pond today.

Is this a muskrat?

PS. i see now that these photos don't really show very well that we are back to fall. That the sun was shining today in a warm way, that the smells of autumn are at its best. That it is very soft outside.
This post also doesn't show the turmoil i am in. Neither the calmness of decisions i am making. That i want to live my live in the most loving way i can.
That part of that is breaking free. I was quite upset this morning, and felt sick in my stomach about it, that i went for a nap, that i talked to friends. that that made me feel better.
That a couple came to look at my art. That they finally made me make a move to be in the woods. I did drive the van to get to the pond, i did even drive into the dirt road. There is still snow in the dark woods and the road is muddy.
:) i almost got my self stuck in that mud , tires spinning. I laugh at myself, well that would be great, stuck in the mud.
I am not stuck, i am free. And sometimes freedom is hard because i am free to move, which ever way seems best. And sometimes......that means we are changing other peoples life in the process. I don't want to cause hurt. I hope so much that i swim away like the muskrat. All peace full making a silver trail. He will come back to his house. and so will i find again my own heart were i truly belong.
hmmmmm something like that.


aria said...

mmmmmm, sounds goods this calmness, these decisions, this focus, this energy....

LG said...

Yes finding your heart, yourself is good...

jozien said...

Thanks :)