I am on a journey, that seems to have a steep learning curve. So i hope when i am through it i master it. And it becomes as easy as biking. I don't know, i think i need a lot of practice. And your help:)
Over the years i have read a lot of 'self help' books. And some talk about, how your mind works. Well i am trying to watch how mine works.
I am ready to let go of certain thoughts. Because.... well... to start with the beginning.
Over a year ago i was troubled by negative thoughts, while i was in the woods on my beautiful walks. After trying different things, i asked my higher spirit to give me pleasant thoughts :)
It worked! Beautiful things started happening in my life. And for a long time i lived in lala-land (it was very very lovely:)
But somehow expectation rolled in, and you know what happens when you expect things.
And you might have read here,that i somehow got depressed.
I am over that, BUT
For some reason, i started to take flight in sweet memories or fantasies, related to those expectations. (all very lovely too)
Last week, i realized i have to let go of those memories/fantasies. because....well...
they are not real.
And my real life is not bad at all.
(Reading this you might wonder how healthy it is to live in the wilderness:)
Now i watch my mind. And whenever this memory/fantasy floats in, i let it float out,
over and over. sometimes i can go hours without those thoughts, sometimes they return within a minute.
The good thing is, i am able to stop them short.
I am very interested how it is for you.
For me i find:
a thought appears.
Before it is actually a thought in words i already know if it is the thought i try to let go of.
At that point there is no emotion yet.
So i try to let it go, before it becomes a thought or emotion.
That works to a certain point. Because at the same time i believe in awareness.
Now it seems, to be aware includes those thoughts. So in the period in between i slip into a state of unawareness. I can be totally happy, but as soon as i realize i am happy, 'boom' i remember everything......
Maybe i am beautifully entangled in the alders now, but i know the bright sunshiny meadow is ahead. And maybe a little altruistic but as Pema Chodron, i believe, my happiness is for the happiness of All. I will go sit in the sun, wait for your comments and read her teachings, which i did not do yet:)