Friday, July 17, 2009

black mirror

This picture taken last Sunday, and the following event i will write about, even older.
Which says something of where i am at; not in the moment.
And at the same time i am, knowing that at the moment, i am somehow..... whatever:)

Black mirror
when i came upon this pool in the forest, it's surface deep black.
You've all seen it, but as i step in closer, the sky reflects.
Hmmmm, it relates to the following experience i had a while ago.
I am just checking; to be exact July 3 2009, see the post about furrows.

Upon a rock, on a hillside, i did a meditation, laying on my bare skin on my belly, on the warm stone. (i am such a lush:)
What came to me that moment, was that i have NO TRUST. Which felt very sincere, but surprised me greatly, as i think of myself as this positive person, full of Love, Laughter and all sorts of good things. And i do have a infinite amount of trust, on one side of the mirror, that is.
But i accepted what came to me. (i am very gullible:)
Willing to ponder on it.

These days, i picked up painting again, as in art. And that evening i went to look for my old watercolors paints.
The first box, i pick up...
No, it's not the paint (i haven't found those yet, but i trust....:)
It is a box that contains among other things, jewelery boxes.
And there i find some long forgotten things, but also
A necklace i think regularly about, even just that day.
A heirloom from my grandma, given to me when i was 18.
I had given up on that necklace totally,
in ever finding it ever again
It had been missing for over 10 years, probably since when we moved here, which is 13 years ago.

Hmmmmm, what do you think?
Is there hope for us all, even if....

The sun is shining, and for now, i just dwell in that.
Maybe i put the necklace on a rock, and take a picture just for you. (i am the best of fuddles:)


aria said...

there is hope for us
if we trust and/or don't trust
we are alive
and enjoy the moment
looking at each other
and to ourselve in our golden mirror
although we know we'll once die
at that moment we know we Lived!
but now we are here
in the moment
and trust and/or don't trust
and we love it

christopher said...

Sweet Jozien, I love your posts.

There is the radical trust that we all lack. Every last one of us with really rare exceptions. This is the trust that would permit you to say yes if the Master came and told you to leave everything behind, to follow him and he would lead you to the Pearl of Great Price. Leave everything? I don't trust that. Can't I keep (fill in the blank yourself)? Therefore, when "I don't trust" comes up, it's usually the truth even if it is not really the truth in some other ways.

Loving you.