pondering

so much
i could be doing now
instead
there was a time
briefly
i wonder if it ever was
or do i just imagine
i'm sure...
i'm not
that i felt
timeless
always infinitely
being right there
where i wanted to be
now in my head
an endless list
I like to paint, pick, ponder
And that's just the p
As i sit here doodling
(make note, a d!)
yet another idea emerges
in my head
again equally exciting
maybe i am blessed
never having to be bored
for years to come
things i like to do
typing here
blessed i'm not in bonds
not stuck behind a desk
the irony
i sit here now
in bonds
behind my desk
i wouldn't call it bored
you might
really yes
how do i turn that p into a b?
just be...
i don't know
really i do know
i do know
what i really want
its you
you to be with me
all else
feels like doing time
ok
for now
that's just fine
so there you go
i feel a flow
in this endless sea
i flow
till i really get
where i really want to be
but maybe i'm not flowing after all
just floating
it's my choice
to keep my head above the water
or just sink
let myself sink deep
either way
this poem goes on
how long
will it go on?
when will it come
to a satisfactory end?
maybe
i look in the wrong place
listen to the wrong voice
i could go on and on
maybe
it's not up to me
somehow

in the meantime
i did do dishes
miraculously
the p already did turn into d