Saturday, January 15, 2011

fences and rocks

The weather here warmed up a little bit.
Often when there is a cold spell like this, you do not want to be in town. Here in Mendenhall on those days it's sunny and no wind.

I am still posting photos from New Mexico.
November 24 2010 we often came to fences like this, to keep the cows in or out. we open them , drive through and close them behind us.
And as i like to contemplate on things like that. In life sometimes one has to open the gate, go through and close of the things that now lay behind. In life one can't always go back that easily. when you enter a new period in your life that's it. I already started the journey, but i wonder when i really will go through that gate and don't come back?

In the often desolate landscape, there are always everywhere i walk, the most interesting rocks, i collected them of course, but couldn't take them with me.

It's all in the beholder of the eye , all those good things. And i have to be open to see it. In life the joy often is in the little things. And i feel i have a knack for seeing them. And i feel very happy these days.

But there is something essentially wrong in my life. How long before i go through that gate and close it behind me. I know the treasures i will find won't be better or worse. One side of the fence looks identical to the other side, and it's just a matter of who leases the land and where you want your cows to be. I giggle about that one, maybe i am the cow and i want a different rancher. But i like my pasture with all its freedom within and it's beautiful rocks. It's just my marriage is not good, really actually the thing is we are not on the same side of the fence anymore. The companionship is lost.........


Elisabeth said...

Wonderful views here, Jozien, but it's sad in the end to read about your marriage like this, both of you on opposite sides of the fence.

Brian said...

Hey Wild Lady ,The difference between the snow and the sand. Is that, the sand is like our true world ,its very hard to keep the grains of sand together. They keep moving although they move as one ,with the winds or pushed into a footprint all the grains are touching but not together.
But the snow is pressed together but only for a little while, only a blanket. Its beauty covers our world for a time then melts away. That blanket covers more than our surroundings sometimes. Be happy Jozien:)

christopher said...

I have been with you on this journey. I love you, good friend. I only ask that you do what you must with care and with grace as best you can.

No one needs to be punished. Life is hard enough without that.

I like it that you see the fence running through the same land both sides. They say around here, "wherever you go, there you are." The landscape ends up the same. You choose to love another, and unless you deeply change yourself you will end up with a similar love.

So many people want to fix their lover, have faith that they can, and in the end discover they did not and never will. This could be you with them, and just as likely them with you as well.

We all know this stuff, right? How come we do it anyway?

jozien said...

hmmmm yes, thanks for all your beautiful responses.
sand, snow :) i love that snow, i loved the sand, yes where ever i go, there i am. And when i go, i know i fear the snow will melt and then what's left is me, the same grain of sand.
Hopefully a little more polished :)