Back to the light

I think we are always going towards the light.
It seems we are programmed towards that.
I like to say, we all just want to be happy. There is no doubt in my mind about that. That even when people seem to go about that in harmful ways.

And i try to drop my fear that i somehow am withheld from that birthright, or that i somehow have to suffer to reach that light. Or to think that i am spoiled somehow because i do live so beautifully, and am so well loved.

For all i know, you might think i suffer, because we have so little sunlight in winter in the Yukon, even if i tell you we don't, we have a lot!

It's all a mystery to me....

What makes you happy? Are you generally happy, or do you have happy moments?

What is it that makes you feel happy?

When i just now, step outside and look at the upcoming sun, breaking through golden clouds on the horizon, the blue sky above, promising to be a deeper blue today.
Yes that does make me feel good.

money

Alexander is home for Christmas!!
Well he came home, he is already off to mnt. Sima to snowboard.

Often when i think, that i have to live less in the money world, i think that i am going to suffer. I hope the opposite is true. Actually i believe the opposite is true. I think we will have more time for Joy. I just did a load of laundry, using the water we showered in, that is always a bit of extra bit of work, but now we have to haul less water, for us having to haul less water, the savings seems obvious. In our society we often don't see the savings, and i keep wanting to draw your attention to the hours work put in by our society to make us being able to just open the tap.

But i wanted to talk about the irony of snowboarding. Snowboarding is an expensive sport, and only because there are some very generous rich people in town, we do have a new skilift on the hill. Thanks thanks thanks!

I sometimes think if i was rich , i could really make a difference.
As these people were able to give money for the lift and for many people to have fun and live a healthy lifestyle. And bless your heart if you are putting on your cross country skies this morning and don't even need a lift.

But i am rich money wise! (compared to most people in the world, not compared to Canadian standards, i wrote about it a few weeks ago.)
And i feel that i did make a difference, together with many of us. we have now an abundance of local produce in the regular supermarket, and more and more things that we can buy organic. That is only possible because many people will spend the little extra, for products they believe in. Obviously we can grow food here in the Yukon and Canada is able to grow an incredible amount of food without the use of pesticides and chemical fertilizer. There are so many things we can do to make a difference.

I forgot what i was going to say next...
tomorrow :)

words

I feel a little at loss for words, not really knowing what i am trying to say here.
the cold air brushing my skin
not happy not sad

as i don't have a regular job to go to,i am not well read, nor intelligent in the ways of the world.
as inside my house the fire is hot
there is water
there is food

i tell myself, it's okay, just hang in there, it doesn't matter

and so it does, it does matter
even if i do not know if we will be happier like maybe Thoreau was when living in the woods(thanks anonymous)

today someone questioned me why i do not lace my boots...

today someone was not happy with me

today someone told me he has a dream

3 very different people,

3 ways to explain what i feel
so i will start with lacing up my boots.

Staying close to what really matters.
Someone thought, i thought, it will be handy if we can rid of laces, brilliant! but that is where the trouble starts, no matter how handy it is to not have to lace up boots.
I think all these short cuts in life can take us farther away from what we really want, and like to show to you that they do.

I'm the worst for wanting things NOW. So i tell my self to stand still, and wonder what really matters. Because all these fast fixes we live with today, they involve a great many hours of work and take our resource in too great of an impact.
Now zippers of laces it maybe doesn't matter so much (well actually two people commented on it, so it mattered to them) But to flip a switch for heat, instead of cutting our own wood, there is no doubt in my mind! that behind that switch there is a lot more intelligence, labor, rules and regulations, etc. Maybe not directly carried out by you but indirectly, they are. A wood stove so simple (when living in the woods)
And i tell you after contemplating on the porch, getting chilled, wood heat is lovely.
I know not everybody has the possibility of wood heat.

But i want to urge you to look at your actions when you do have a choice....
realizing what really counts...

first things first

Thank you for the comments i am receiving!
I want to get to; what are the essentials?
But first i want to say again in better wording what i sense is going on.
I think our lives would improve if we stop chasing that dollar. And really there would still be the same amount money. The trick is to distribute it more evenly, but that is the one of the problems now anyway, at that society doesn't have much success in our current system and it is said the gap is widening.

I think our lives would improve, because there will be more leisure time. Now we work work work at senseless jobs (sorry) I babysit kids, because my employer needs time for herself , because she looks after kids for people who work on problems that are created because our roads are to busy, he has to drive these roads to do that job, his wife fixes cars, that he needs to get to all these job, they all have houses, offices shops that need to be cleaned/maintained, because they are to busy etc etc

You get the point right?

I actually think we can still have our flat screen tv, (if you think that truly makes you happy) if we do cut out all jobs that are none essential.

A tv might be essential you know, ( i like to watch a movie :) nevertheless with an old screen tv. which i actually like better.

but what bugs me too, that we have so many fully functioning places to live, Don and i have a shop, an apartment above it, we have tents, we have a camper.
We can only live in one thing at the time.
Today we did express we would like to camp out right were we saw the Bison tracks, under a tarp...
And oh i forgot, we often work from our own home, but also have fully functioning buildings were we can work that stand empty while we sleep.

Of on limb again :)

But after essentials i hope with your help to get to some sort of solution.

freedom

I do sometimes feel stuck in life, so what is freedom?
Freedom for me maybe; when i realize that this is where, who, etc. i really want to be, this moment.

When skating i felt it.
Just before i was struggling to get my skates on, while Don was long gone walking on the the ice, wondering why the struggle?

When you feel your struggling to make money, but you feel that it pays off.
I am not going to suggest any longer that we as a society could change. Maybe all is perfect ( and i mean that)
And after al i am fully aware that i can live this life of a lush, because for example i wear clothes that somebody bought for me (my clothes are mostly hand me downs) and i realize that i benefit from an infrastructure that is made possible through people that find that important. etc.

Happy to feel the freedom of skating on 70km long skating rink :) how spoiled am i?

I like to become more aware of what it really means that i wanted to skate today. How much struggle am i willing to put in for that (and i don't mean frozen fingers and laces)

I know that now a days we put as a society an incredible amount of working hours in, wasting an incredible amount of our resources, for what? to feel free?

Here in these posts i also want to show you that the scale has tipped in my view, what if we slow down building/maintaining bigger roads, bigger offices, creating more laws, whatever? (i know i am not informed or educated enough to get my point across, but sorry i can't wait for that)
Nowadays as a society we work more hours then ever to give us that feeling of freedom.

hmmm what do you think?

what if

Michael send me this yesterday

From Buckminster Fuller...

We must do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian-Darwinian theory, he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.

This was written in 1970
sigh
i think about this a lot
sigh
and will today write some of my head spinnings about it

I would like to go to the bottom of why we work sooo much

i will go to the bottom of my jobs, first one of my jobs for regular income;
i clean someone's house
he can't do it, because he cooks for people who work
who work for the government mainly (this town pretty simple)
the government supposingly works for me (as being a citizen)
well that was short! :)

haha maybe i am an anarchist after all, because now lets get rid of the government, i am really in no need of so many people working for me, who am i being so special?

So now i have fired all the government workers in town, say some 10.000 people, now all that money that is saved, salaries, cost of offices,etc etc
Well the salaries they can keep, people gotta live.
but all the money saved from their expensive offices, they can now just pay me, and i do not have to work, and they can pay my employer, because he now doesn't have to cook lunches for all these government workers, and being home he can keep his own house in order (i actually know he is very good at that, i clean a fairly tidy house)
or is it that these government workers just love to go for lunch, but they still can right, because i had them keep there salary, so my employer still has to cook, that is if he wants...


you know i find it hard to describe my logic, but i just don't get it. It seems to me many of us could live the life we want, because the money going around would be the same...

Really and to be serious, i hope that one day i will look at, what is essential? and go from there.

Because i am sure that we can all live the life we really want, and still be looked after when needed.

I hope some of you understands what i am saying and can add something...

Thanks Michael, i will try to write about this a little every day
as keeper of the wild places in my own heart.

for jb