sadness seeping in

what happens when the sadness seeps in?
my eyes will fill with tears
i will long for you
and look outside of me
a river on a road
a tree across a path
in the name of progress
anger wells up
did they block the natural flow of the creek?
there is a non trespassing sign on that tree.
remember that path?
all those blue butterflies sipping mud in the spring
where do they go now?
today was a day of full sun after frost
after rain
rain for days
rain rain non stop no trespassing rain
today a second brood of mourning cloaks
out in full force
a yard full of fluttering
bathing in sunshine
soaking up love
where are your strong arms?
that should comfort me
I get lost in a forest full of red
highbush cranberry smell, thick
big floating yellow below
small trembling yellow above
i did go to the stone today
one  rock was  heartshape i see now
a broken heart
she was so perfect
just like you
few things in life are a perfect fit
the grace that whatever it is,
it is always good
never anger, never sadness
no doubts, no fears
i tell you
life can be that way
i read today
the kiwi bird can't fly
because it had nothing to fear
is that supposed to be consoling me?
water didn't go over the rim of my boots
and it could have
because that was the last thing i cared about
i found the name of that tiny
true look alike
heartshaped seeds
i just followed a thought and there she was
out of nothing
there she was
gone again
and after 3 days in the rain
the white sheets
naturally bleached