Monday, September 15, 2014
As i have a runny nose
and have been reading about enlightenment for.......33 years now.
Ha making the quick calculation, there is the answer; there i go, drawn into Joy, i like the number 33 , i am a 33 and i live on lot 33.
More thoughts appear; Now is this bad or good this coincidence or this number in it self or all these thoughts flooding in?
After reading what i have been reading in the last few weeks, i say it is neither good nor bad.
That i feel joy, that can't be bad, but it would be no different me feeling bad. It doesn't change a thing.
It doesn't change me.
What i am reading now is all about self inquiry.
I am That.
That is what appears before a thought, or is That where the thought appears from.
The silence in between the in and out breath, the out and in breath.
Breathing just happens it is of the body, no effort,
unless you can't.
I am not my body,
to me it does feel it is where i dwell, this particular body is mine, the one that has a runny nose now.
Reading Papaji, he seems to renounce everything, also this body we call our own...
When i listen for that stillness that is That according to Papaji and many more spiritual teachers.
I feel my body,
and when my eyes open i see things,
and not today, but i would smell things.
When i am focused on a task then it seems i become less aware....
Not still actually, thoughts come and go.
Most of the time i am not bothered my thoughts
Papaji seem to suggest that thoughts are bothersome ( i do love Papaji, he is a teacher of mine, for years)
At the moment, these weeks i am keeping watch for bothersome thoughts or contradictory ones for that matter.
Even when not most of the time, there are lots. Lots.
What i want to say to papaji ( not a real person in my life, just a spirtual teacher i am reading about)
I love my life, don't you bother me
I know what Papaji would say;
"Well why are you here then? Carry on bravely for another cycle of a few million years".......
Haha at least when we i stay unaware, the world is going nowhere, i know that much.
More on this another day.