Tuesday, January 10, 2012


the long an lonesome path

sub sub title
do we create our own prison

I know i am very blessed in certain ways, like being healthy.
And i find it hard to relate to people who suffer in that way, in the sense that i have it so good, so anything i say doesn't apply to them, because they are suffering and i am not.
Like what does it mean when i talk about; living simpler, enjoying the moment etc. when you are suffering because you just... suffer of something.

Don't mind me, i get caught in the suffering. And just an hour ago, i felt totally bogged down, blamed it on the situation i am in, my own situation, created by my own self.

Now i do meditate, i practice Reiki, have read a lot of self help books and believe in my higher spirit.
Still i do have bad days, and maybe more than others. so if you have any tips for me let me know :)
But what is it, that i live in abundance with little money, have a healthy body, and am well loved.

Is it just luck? It appears to be a lot of luck.

But maybe i did get something out of those self help books.

I celebrate the good stuff and the bad stuff :)
I try to be aware when good things happen, and let that sink in, truly feel the joy of it. And i use that feeling, that now is a conscience memory, when i worry or when i feel bad. Celebrate i could also call it be deeply gratefull.

Now the bad stuff;
Like it took me half the morning till i realized that something in my life is causing me heartache. Finally i said to myself, i don't like this. that's half the battle, some where over the course of the next hour, i realize that the situation is not to blame, because by being aware sometimes in my life i have realized i can feel bad even when things are good. I flop on the bed, and talk to me self sternly, "jozien, this feeling has nothing to do with circumstances, life is a flow of light and dark, and weren't you thinking about writing how you celebrate the dark. Yes, yes, what do you have to say for yourself now?"

And suddenly it some how clicks in, i lay there loving (celebrating) my misfortunes.

Then i somehow forget about everything, and find my self outside again, i tried before, because the outdoors always works as a great healer for me ( i write about that next :P. But earlier i couldn't really get into it happily, and now it works!

and and and! i am celebrating right now! because right now a small miracle happened!
My husband loves me, he just told me so, he thought i was social networking and he says he loves me spending time on fet (my personal facebook). Because well my distress was partly about, that he resents me being on the computer so much.

Happy blogging to you too
thank you for reading

And i love to know what you think... bad or good :)
And what works for you? i do think we all have our own unique ways of being.

1 comment:

togoh said...

wow! you really live in one of the most beautiful parts of the world!
cool blog :)