Monday, January 23, 2023

yes a wonderful weekend

 I do think I often suffer from too high a self-esteem. But on the other hand i also recognize my self quite often at odds.  All that anxiety for some fabulous outings.  And am happy that i can recognize  defaults in others and hopefully be quite passionate towards them.

 I am pondering a respond to a friend, who seem to suffer the little things a lot. What is more compassionate, to try to tell her  she could just drop it, something that i would not even have picked up in the first place (I pick up other things i guess.) Or let her suffer in silence.

And what about to keep working on our health, when  really at a certain age, we all seem to go. Would you go for ten days longer, ten weeks, ten years? if you could.

I hope i can say i am always looking for that balance.

hmmm  i this weekend  I was all calm and quite happy about  letting my friends hike to the next peak, while i sheltered behind some spruce trees and puttered around for an hour or so. I have always been happy when others exceed me,  especially people who i perceive as my students

 But the fact, that unless i really go out of my way, i probably never reach Jo-Jo Peak anymore. This hike might be on this blog, it has been many many years. When you look  at google earth for Jo-Jo Peak, it's the right area, but points at the wrong peak.

Ad a question i have is , can we at one point indeed just drop it all, and go peacefully? I read  and know examples of people waiting for their last breath, but do you know stories of people, just saying, it has been good!  I will let go soon, and the did.

Actually writing it like that i do know a person like that, and she sometimes comes to mind  while i am meditating. 

She looks wonderfully wild and is always laughing...with me.


Sabine said...

My grandmother did just that, she was 103 years old. She would go for a daily walk until a week before her death and then one morning, she stayed in bed and closed her eyes and when visitors came she told them she wants to sleep now and then she died.
I think for many of her generation, rural people born before or at the turn of the 19th to the 20th century, death was part of life and the way she went was nothing out of the usual.
My father, her youngest child, is now getting to that point, he struggled for a while, I like to think it was his willpower, his lifelong role to be in charge that he struggled with, but for the last couple of weeks, he has been sleeping and dozing and occasionally, he speaks or responds to questions or the sound of music. No more meds, no iv, no monitors. He eats a little bit now and then. Someone sits with him for a while every day but he doesn't notice and often does not respond. I like to think, he is somewhere deep in his memories, slowing down, closing down.

jozien said...

That is beautiful Sabine, thank you for sharing.

Eileen T said...

From my own experience with my late partner I believe that is some circumstances people can choose to move on to whatever awaits us next. I know, from discussions with my doctor, that lots of medical people believe that you reach a stage where you can make this sort of decision. x

Bless said...

You ask some very interesting questions. I think my mother knew when it was her time to go - she told a friend that she couldn't "do this anymore" and she passed away an hour or so later, still seated in her chair. As for me, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I chose to have treatments which would, hopefully, extend my life a little longer, partly because I felt I owed it to my child to be there for her as long as I could. I don't know how long I would get, but, each day I wake up alive is a bonus!