My husband just gave me an awesome shoulder massage, I lay on the floor on my belly, he sits on a chair, his feet on my shoulders, upper back. At the end i turn around and he presses on my shoulder with his feet when i lay on my back. The opening of my heart, maybe :). This morning started of less open hearted.
This morning meditating again with impermanence in mind. I try to get it. This fear of impermanence that Budhism talks about as the elephant footprint of ...i forget, but i get the idea.. I contemplated that when it is not my fear of impermanence, what is my fear? What came to me is, that I am triggered by:
Before meditation, i got up to go to the bathroom, as it turned out my husband was using it, i kind of knew, but my brain not fully working. He grunts as i try to enter, i tell you he takes his time in there. But his grunt, felt by me, as aimed at me. of course if you know us a little thing like this often escalates a bit. Nothing major, not at war or anything. But as i learned 25 years ago with the course of miracles, it is either negative or positive, you either feel good about something or not. no matter how little. And this was a negative one.
Fast forward to my meditation; contemplating, I don't mind impermanence, or do I? I enjoy the coming and going of things, looking forward to something, enjoying the something enjoying the after.
aha But i do want my life to be always be smooth sailing! no interruptions early in the morning at bathroom time please.
I wonder if that what is meant. by the suffering of change?
Buddhism talks about the -suffering of suffering-. Pema Chodron in her latest book mentions it fleetingly. It is i think about the deep suffering, like people in war or, or people very sick, etc. And Pema somehow writes, that that often is ongoing, one horror after the other.
I have questions about that too.
6 comments:
The concept of impermanence is one of the central themes in Buddhism. "All things- animate, inanimate, physical, mental - are transient; they are subject to change and, therefore, impermanent; nothing stays the same, nothing lasts forever".
The suffering comes from the fact that we want the good things that bring us joy and pleasure to last unchanged forever but they don't. There is suffering, too, in experiencing conditions that bring us pain, but, here, there might be some comfort in the knowledge that things are subject to change, that the painful conditions will change and, hopefully, become better. :)
Yes, Thanks Bless you say it clearly and a friend yesterday said it something like this; what we know for sure is that it will change.
I will try to find today what other central themes Buddhism has, because i still feel, that there is something else going on when suffering. Like now i am slightly cold, is it the impermanence of warmth, or is something else going on, that makes me uncomfortable? And maybe what Buddhism describes as suffering, is not the little discomforts that happen during the day? I am sure Bless you feel blessed too :)
I rather like the fact that things change and also that we know that it will happen. I feel I'm better at some in coping with change, but there is room for improvement there as well. xx
Yes Eileen, me too i feel i am pretty good with change. So i did a bit of googling, and found lots of stuff:) Causes of suffering are clinging desire ( maybe that points to impermanence thing) unawareness, reading your blog i feel we both have a healthy dose of that, what is left is Anger and aversion. You do not seem an angry person :) but for me i will look into that. Because it is after all my husband's 'anger" that get 's me... angry. And how blessed to have found you both Bless and Eileen, maybe we are all three ready to just chop wood and haul water. and write about that!
I read of women the world over who stay in abusive relationships. Why? Are you afraid to really live life on your own? What conditioning keeps you in a situation that is unpleasant? It is silly to try and stifle normal anger. Why not recognize your emotions and your self-worth....that you don't need to put up with his anger? Change something!! Don't let life live you. You live IT!
On pp.129 & 130 in *Death is of Vital Importance,* Kübler-Ross writes, "You cannot sit on your negativity and think you can meditate it away. That really does not work."
The first half of this book describes instances of awareness of impending death from children she worked with. The 2nd half describes occurances similar to those in Aniela Jaffe's *Apparitions and Precognitions.*
While I respect Pema, the thousands of people Kübler-Ross worked with while they were dying inclines me to consider her opinion and observations more seriously.
xxooxx
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