How annoying must i have been

 Last night it occurred to me, how i never did get. Now there is an opening, i still do not get it fully, but..

I am reading Pema Chodron's latest book.  My old meditation group is reading it, they started this morning. I do not join them anymore because  i do not drive into town anymore on a regular base, and certainly  not at 6 am in the morning. But as they started this new book i thought i join them in spirit.

 Now  over the years my opinion of my dear dear Pema took a bit of a gnaw, because her teacher was involved in a sexual abuse case, and i found her response to it all rather callous...

Nevertheless, maybe as she learned lots of helpful stuff from her perverted teacher, i learned a lot from her.

But  reading her new book, i am half way through, i had lots to criticize . Now i have been aware for a long time of my overly critical mind. I asked a teacher about it, and her advice was somewhat helpful, " just be aware"  notice it when it happens.

Anyway  long story short, last night reading the  first chapter 3 times over, for this mornings meditation with the group in mind, i had started to underline things that i do not agree with. A light bulb went on: suddenly i asked myself , Jozien who is interested?  Pema wrote this book as to what she believes, no one in the group or in the world is interested in what you believe unless they ask. And it is not even so much about  others, but can i from now on just hear what others have to say.

It seems obvious, how could i be so blind? 

And already, i feel i am more acceptive of what others say, just listening, instead of instantly figuring out what i think, never mind speaking it.

wowow i am probably the 1 % who does not get this fully.