Friday, October 1, 2010

muskrat

As you see, the snow is gone again, one snowball left in the yard from someone that started to make a snowman.

I went to the 911-pond today.

Is this a muskrat?

PS. i see now that these photos don't really show very well that we are back to fall. That the sun was shining today in a warm way, that the smells of autumn are at its best. That it is very soft outside.
This post also doesn't show the turmoil i am in. Neither the calmness of decisions i am making. That i want to live my live in the most loving way i can.
That part of that is breaking free. I was quite upset this morning, and felt sick in my stomach about it, that i went for a nap, that i talked to friends. that that made me feel better.
That a couple came to look at my art. That they finally made me make a move to be in the woods. I did drive the van to get to the pond, i did even drive into the dirt road. There is still snow in the dark woods and the road is muddy.
:) i almost got my self stuck in that mud , tires spinning. I laugh at myself, well that would be great, stuck in the mud.
I am not stuck, i am free. And sometimes freedom is hard because i am free to move, which ever way seems best. And sometimes......that means we are changing other peoples life in the process. I don't want to cause hurt. I hope so much that i swim away like the muskrat. All peace full making a silver trail. He will come back to his house. and so will i find again my own heart were i truly belong.
hmmmmm something like that.

3 comments:

aria said...

mmmmmm, sounds goods this calmness, these decisions, this focus, this energy....

LG said...

Yes finding your heart, yourself is good...

jozien said...

Thanks :)