still not smoking :)

I was not going to post today, but Sue you asked about it :) thanks, so here you go.
I do have to leave in 10 minutes though.
At moments i still do find it extremely hard, these moments become less and less indeed.
At such moments i sometimes even put a cigarette in my mouth, without lightning it (how sick:).
But this time around quitting, something clicked in my mind, that whatever i feel, i won't light up. I know i won't.
Till..... later later when i forget all about that strong conviction.
I promise here i will let you know if i do, i will make it public:)
As hard as it is and definitely was, i do think quitting smoking is easy compared to eating less or (Gerard:)exercising more. Because it is clear, everything is very clear. In my mind smoking is bad (which it isn't necessarily) and , it is clear that i can't have none! nothing of that more or less stuff. Also it is my own choice. I am not forced. I would have trouble with that, i do not like authority.
To get over the hump as i call it; i type , or i drink coffee.
To not fall into the longing: i plan clearly what i do next! as for me

I gotta go! Got that transformation (what's the right word?? help me) taken care of.