shocking III

yesterday i swam here

swimming upstream
one doesn't get very far
rain is falling out
of a clear blue sky
my painting is turning out so well
it makes me frizzle
my body screams
for a smoke:)
the music blaring
my ears split
and scare off blondy
the bear coming my way


You know what is most shocking, i didn't start smoking somewhere early 2009,
when i had found my way,
when i knew i was totally at the right place at the right time.
Haha when i was keeper of wild places at it's best.
And what else more shocking yet, i mainly smoke my husband's butt ends. I once found a full fresh package of tobacco. My husband hating to see me smoke butts (you know i have no shame, that can be a problem sometimes) gives me tobacco now. I only once paid for a cigarette, 2 bucks :) thanks Neal, i do love you for it.
I hardly ever smoke in town, not many people know i smoke, smoked that is.

So you might think it should be easy to quit. Well up to today, with all honesty i would say; i stop, but somehow it never worked. Somehow there was these gaps and i would fall in and find myself smoking.