In the moment

I laugh, i laugh
I should not be typing now, there is a beautiful program on the CBC radio now. About the cultural show of last night in the Yukon Arts Centre. I think it's the one that will go to the Olympics in Vancouver. I love the music, the singing, the story.
I laugh, i laugh
It is snowing big time, earlier going to the outhouse, i had to trudge through the snow.
and i who was wishing for this snow, wonder why i didn't go on longer walks when there was little snow, the way i love it. Now it's too late, i will have to use skies or snowshoes.
I laugh, a little less
It's colder out, again.
With the running/ski club i lead, i secretly was happy to be running still and not skiing. Today was going to be skiing, but now with this cold we be inside running yet again, I wish so much we could go skiing.
I laugh no more
Why can't i get to seem it right? This living in the moment, which i always prided myself on, which i was so good at. Why do i keep thinking of delicious pasts or wishing for some glorious future?
I do smile
I am brimming with energy, here now, to write even if my writing skills are not what i like them to be, even if i can only speak of half truths because of fear.
What do you think is there hope for me?

Yours,
laughingly, lovingly
knowing you who come here are at least reading me
jozien x