I feel a little at loss for words, not really knowing what i am trying to say here.
the cold air brushing my skin
not happy not sad
as i don't have a regular job to go to,i am not well read, nor intelligent in the ways of the world.
as inside my house the fire is hot
there is water
there is food
i tell myself, it's okay, just hang in there, it doesn't matter
and so it does, it does matter
even if i do not know if we will be happier like maybe Thoreau was when living in the woods(thanks anonymous)
today someone questioned me why i do not lace my boots...
today someone was not happy with me
today someone told me he has a dream
3 very different people,
3 ways to explain what i feel
so i will start with lacing up my boots.
Staying close to what really matters.
Someone thought, i thought, it will be handy if we can rid of laces, brilliant! but that is where the trouble starts, no matter how handy it is to not have to lace up boots.
I think all these short cuts in life can take us farther away from what we really want, and like to show to you that they do.
I'm the worst for wanting things NOW. So i tell my self to stand still, and wonder what really matters. Because all these fast fixes we live with today, they involve a great many hours of work and take our resource in too great of an impact.
Now zippers of laces it maybe doesn't matter so much (well actually two people commented on it, so it mattered to them) But to flip a switch for heat, instead of cutting our own wood, there is no doubt in my mind! that behind that switch there is a lot more intelligence, labor, rules and regulations, etc. Maybe not directly carried out by you but indirectly, they are. A wood stove so simple (when living in the woods)
And i tell you after contemplating on the porch, getting chilled, wood heat is lovely.
I know not everybody has the possibility of wood heat.
But i want to urge you to look at your actions when you do have a choice....
realizing what really counts...
2 comments:
Sweetheart, you have demonstrated very well how it all fits together in someone's life and then you cross over to someone else's life and it all fits together there too even though so different.
Yes, I cannot in my house do wood heat. My fireplace is idle, was idle in my mother's time here too, because it needs ripping out and replacing. But even if it was functional, I would not want to "lose all that time" because that is what that feels like to me.
And wood heat stands as a metaphor for all sorts of things, some being choices and lifestyle and some being larger forms and constraints and many things besides. I live alone. Lots of things don't get handled the way they would were I part of a partnership. That is not entirely a choice.
I an not working anymore thus am far removed from the working world of conflict and compromise.
I am innocent of books but rich in lore of fields and brooks.
My time is better spent watching the chicadees, nuthatches and pine grosbeaks at the feeder and building more feeders for them.
Late nights and late mornings are the norm this time of year as is the occassional low spirit which I think comes with the declining photoperiod.
Let the call of a chicadee and the warmth of the wood stove bolster your spirit.
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