yesterday

It's cold!
Yesterday a sunny cold day, today a cold gray day.
Today a busy, people day anyway, but yesterday i went for a nice long walk.
I have to say though my energy is changing. I sleep too much and feel restless at times. Yesterday too, in the beginning of my walk too, i was antsy, and i didn't know if i was coming or going.
But sooon......
I am struck by beauty,
I see a grouse, many animal tracks, the sky is blue, the lake a great whit expanse, with long shadows of the low sun. A little overflow(ruining any possibility of skating) but interesting for walking in.
I walk straight North, coming out on blue china swamp. And sure enough even with this cold, there is still water pouring out of the mountain. I here the gurgling under neath the snow, and find two open holes the size of a fist. I drink the 'warm' water.(my hands and cheeks are frozen, everything above freezing feels warm).
I climb the drumlins, and the views are spectacular, the sun in this latitude forever setting. It glides along the horizon, never reaching any height.

Elk

added Nov 21 2009. Thanks technobabe for your comment. I am very :) Grateful for the elk herd here. But it is all kind of controversial. They are so tame, because they were never hunted, because they were an introduced species. Anyway if you are interested, you can google Takhini Elk Herd. I just did, but cannot find any good article that i would recommend.
By the way i think the coyote in the area are feeding on the elk, my husband contradicts that. :)

Blame

you blame it on lust
or did you mean love?
you say i am obsessed
you think
my whole life is based
on one single thing

how wrong you are
it is you
who did put kindling in my fire
you stirring it
your singleness
your life full of possibilities
your freedom
maybe caused me to find mine

and you accuse me
of loving too much

Maybe it is me
eating all that wild red meat
i could blame it
on the sun
on the moon
on my mother receiving
my father's seed

how far
do you want me to go back
maybe you are right
after all
no matter where i go
all i know is

there is just me
only me
now
and
for that matter
you!
gloriously
you
always

coyote

Steven D. Farmer: The Coyote; Wise Fool. Accept your follies and find the teaching in them. Trickster; Sociability; Adaptability; Wisdom-keeper.



Ted Andrews: Coyote is shapeshifter, illuminator and uses pranks to teach and help people learn by their foolish mistakes and to laugh at themselves.



me: haha, i was laughing all day all ready, and yesterday, and...
And then i see this big coyote along the highway. First i thought it might be a wolf, looking at it's size. I know what she's eating. (I 'll post that tomorrow :)
But Coyotes look at you quite friendly, where as an encounter with a wolf is quite haunting.
I like the power of seeing a wolf, but i was very happy with this beautiful big coyote.
And these days in my life coyote is quite appropriate. I am doing, enjoying things, that i never thought i would. And it gives me great joy, to be that way :).
I still find my self quite foolish, but talking to Norm Hamilton today, i might come out of the closet soon. It is not what you think it is! I really don't like to be so secretive, but well you know, this is a blog, a very public space. And really it's my relatives i fear, haha, I run away from them half way across the globe, and now with the Internet, they are here to haunt me:) (hey, any familymembers reading this; I love you, don't worry.) When i feel more self-assured, i will illuminate you. Because really i am very excited and it's nothing really. I am going on to long, because really it's nothing. And as Norm was saying; we are all unique, but way more the same than we realize.

Kusawa

the wind, the frost, the water
they play
with sand and snow and rocks
lines and patterns
everywhere
ice on the beach
water in the lake
sand in ice on snow with rocks
snow on rocks with air in ice
water lapping noisily
snow rippled sand
ice flows over rocks
etcetera etcetera
innumerable combinations
changing all the time
as does the light

in progress

the wind died down
the sun did not yet shine
dusk comes too early
i shiver
slightly
days fly by
unnoticed
sunday laughter
recalling good times
forever falling
behind
strokes of pink
your skin against mine
catching up
in long dark nights

The wind is howling

I hate how i always say; how i love this or that or for that matter you:)
It sounds so pathetic, but i can't help it. When i see a certain sight or feel being touched, hear a lovely sound, it stirs me.
When i get touched by this love, my heart opens up and i howl.
Today the wind is howling with me, the sight of whirlwinds, the blowing against my skin. Please forgive me, and let me love so easily.

This morning the wind is booming already. Not letting my self being fooled by the thermometer, i know it's warm (Just below zero C) out there, and i walk out in just a little piece of black lace, haha. (It's true, that's why i couldn't live in town, can you imagine: this woman howling in her underwear. Tell me what would you say.)

Then as the wind keeps blowing, i have things to do inside; getting ready for that craft sale, my student comes now one and half hour on Saturdays. Housework. Anyway the light turns grey/yellow before i make it outside. First without a toque, my hair blowing in my face, my ears freezing. I return and dress a little better.
The yard is full of spruce needles and cones, fireweed is blown to pieces and behaving like small tumbleweed. Whirlwinds of blown snow; when they hit me my clothing still not sufficient. The trees bend and creak. The sky incredible. The mountains barely visible. It's beautiful :)